Page 133

“Impossible,” Nyx said, shaking his head.

Emrys placed a hand on each of us and closed his eyes. We watched him and waited. When he opened them, he nodded and fixed Nyx with his no nonsense look. “It’s there, but you’re fighting it. She gives, and you block. Check for yourself. Can you not feel it?”

Nyx looked at me, but I shook my head and shrugged. “I wouldn’t know what to look for.”

He searched inside himself and then his eyes widened.

“It’s weak, but I think I feel it.”Nyx closed his eyes, and I knew Jaxus spoke the truth when he opened them again. “How? We haven’t even tried to meld in more than a week, and I know it didn’t work then.”

“You said you helped him fly here after the poisoning?” the healer asked.

“Yes,” I confirmed, not sure where he was going.

“My guess is that he was too weak to resist your control, so the flow worked.”

Nyx looked utterly confused.

“Melding is an exchange. Control doesn’t allow for free flow of magic,” the healer said.

“Do you mean it’s been him and not me?” I cried, putting my hand to my mouth when I realized I was almost shouting.

Nyx groaned, putting his palm over his eyes. “Do not answer that. I will never hear the end of it.”

“She’s right. You were blocking more than she was from the sound of it,” Emrys confirmed.

Jaxus held back a laugh.

My smile stretched so wide my cheeks hurt.

“You have to let yourself be completely open, youngling. I thought that was a given.” He shook his head.

“It can’t be that simple?” Nyx asked.

“I mean...” Jaxus gave me an awkward half glance. “Depends on how easily you give up control, mate.”

I bit back a giggle. “Can you give up control to me, Nyx?” I shouldn’t have said it, but I couldn’t help myself.

Nyx growled, sending a shiver down my spine.

“It’s a fair question,” Jaxus said, clearly goading where I wouldn’t.

Nyx’s shoulders fell.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’ve ruined our meld,” he explained. “I was so focused on you getting it right, but I fucked it up myself.”

“What ever do you mean?” the healer questioned.

“We only partially melded because of me, and now we have to live with that for the rest of our lives. Our powers won’t ever fully align.”

I felt the loss as keenly as he did.

“What in the sweet Goddess’ name are you yammering about?” He frowned. “If your meld isn’t complete, you try again. And if necessary, again and again until it is.”

“That’s not how it works,” Nyx snapped.

“Boy, do you think the Goddess went to all the effort of creating the two of you to fit together perfectly, only to then let you flip a coin and let fate fall where it may? You are made to meld seamlessly together. There’s no reason in all the realms to stop trying until you get there.”