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“I can keep her safe. You know my magic is strong enough even without hers. I’m one of the strongest dragons in generations. Keeping me here is a detriment to the legion. We are losing flyers left and right, and we don’t have enough to be losing any at all.” It was true, but it wasn’t my most pressing concern. I needed to get out there and lead the flyers so I could prevent the loss of any more flyers. But I needed her in order to do that, and if I couldn’t even keep her here long enough to train, then I was fucked. She would leave if we didn’t get moving soon enough.

Octavian frowned. “I’m sure you’re concerned for your brother and want to be out there with him,” he said with sympathy, confusing my fear of losing Zaria with my fear of losing Kol. Whatever helped me convince him to let me lead, I’d roll with it. “But I can assure you I am keeping our flyers safe. We are all cognizant of the losses—all flyers feel them—but I can’t risk more lives by putting her out in the field before she is ready.”

“The fleet would be safer with me in command, and you know it,” I snapped, losing patience.

“I’m not only speaking to the safety of flyers. I am worried about the safety of our entire kingdom. She could cause some sort of natural disaster by coming into all that power at once with no knowledge of how to control it. She could kill other flyers who aren’t naturally protected against her power like you are. The instructors are used to powers going rogue and are trained for it. If her power is as vast as yours, she could wipe out the fleet you wish to protect, not to mention the civilian casualties we could see.” Octavian’s words were final. He pushed to his feet, and I was sure I was going to get scolded, but he softened as he moved around his desk to put a hand on my shoulder. “Focus on helping her. That’s all you can do. Let me worry about keeping the fleets safe.”

I nodded because there was no use fighting it. There was nothing else I could say to convince him right now, so instead, I said what he wanted to hear. “Yes, General. Thank you for your time.”

“Anytime, Nyx.” He turned back to his desk, effectively dismissing me.

I left, launching into the air as soon as I cleared the hallway, with my powers flickering around my knuckles, which quickly changed into talons in a display of my frustration.

I had to calm down before I destroyed something.

TWELVE

NYX

When I returned to the healer’s wing after a flight to burn off my frustration, Zaria was gone.

“Where is she?” I demanded.

Kiera seemed surprised I didn’t know, but not in the least intimidated by my commanding tone. She was immune and didn’t suffer arseholes gladly.

“With your brother. He didn’t tell you?”

I ground my teeth and tilted my face to the sky, not sure if I should be cursing my brother or thanking him. It was hard to know with Kol. He had his own ideas of what was best, and there was no convincing him otherwise.

“I’m going to guess by your reaction he didn’t.” She brushed her hands over her apron, smoothing it. “I’m sure she’s in good hands.”

“But why?” I paced the small room, sure it would annoy Kiera but unable to stop myself. I had to find a place to put all the pent-up emotions I’d been carrying for so long. “Couldn’t he have let me handle it?”

“Were you going to?” Kiera side-eyed me while she grabbed an old recipe book and flipped to one of the marked pages. There were stains on the well-worn paper, but she dragged a finger down the page, muttering to herself. “Maybe he is trying to help. Someone needs to show her around. Would you rather it be someone else? Someone who has a less favorable opinion of you?” She gave a hint of a smile when she said it.

“No one has an unfavorable opinion of me.”

This time, her look wasn’t so subtle. “I think there are those who wouldn’t wish to see you take your place among the command, or are comfortable with the status quo. I think Kol looks out for you, even if his ways are unconventional.”

“Which might be true, but the more opportunity Zaria is given to avoid her reality, the closer we come to disaster.” I didn’t want to burden her with all my fears, but some of them leaked out.

“What were you going to do? Pick her up from here and deliver her straight into lessons? Goddess, Nyx. She needs to settle in. You won’t speed things up by forcing her before she’s ready. Maybe Kol could see that and took her before you could crash in and cause more harm than good. Hmm?”

I growled. I wouldn’t have delivered her straight to a lesson. I’d have shown her her rooms first. Ugh, she was right.

“She will come around,”Kiera assured me.

“Do you really believe so?” I knew Kiera had to have overheard some of what we’d said to each other by the nature of how the healer’s ward was set up, but she hadn’t seen the conviction in Zaria’s eyes or felt the strength of her will like I had. Zaria was the same child she’d been when I found her all those years ago, and that child was fierce and stubborn. No one would make her do what she didn’t want to do. I’d admired those parts of her, but now they scared me. Her parents had hidden her away and turned her against this world, and all of this felt so fucking hopeless.

Kiera abandoned her potion and placed her hands over mine. “I truly believe so, Nyx. You have to let her see you. And I mean the real you, before you argue. Not the unbending alpha you become whenever you think about having to fill the general’s shoes.”

I rolled my eyes. “You realize I only get that way because it’s an impossible amount of pressure, right? I don’t enjoy it.”

Kiera smirked, returning to her potion. “Really?” she deadpanned. “Because you’re so good at it.”

“Give me a break, Kiera. Try having a destiny hanging over you that you can’t reach without your other half while a ticking clock counts down to when the goodwill of the King runs out and you lose it all forever. Then talk to me about how unbending I can be when I think about it all.”

Her eyes softened in sympathy, but she still didn’t cut me any slack. “That may be, but if you pull that attitude with her again, she will run as far and as fast from you as she can, and then where will you be?”