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“I had a friend who taught me” A pang of sadness hit me at the thought of Luka. I felt his loss deeply, but there was so much loss to process, it just kept hitting me in pieces. I looked at the expectant faces around the table. I would not succumb to grief here. I swallowed and continued, pushing the grief down for another time.

“I wanted to know how to use a sword, and he didn’t mind showing me.”

Luka didn’t mind doing anything for me. Nothing was ever too much. I had always known he would have taken any opportunity to spend extra time with me, and that old guilt threatened to join the grief I was already feeling. He would have made a good husband, but I was not the wife for him. Perhaps the part of me that reached beyond our walls for an unknown connection was the obstacle in my way of accepting that future? I would never know, and I would always feel guilty for it.

“Are you okay, little sunshine?” Kol asked carefully.

I looked up and saw the concern in his expression. In fact, the whole table was watching me, and I had gotten lost in the grief I had been so desperate to hide. I shrugged. “Just thinking about my friend.”

Kol’s expression softened, and he placed a comforting hand on my arm. “I’m so sorry, Zaria.”

It didn’t need to be said. He was sorry for both my loss and the part his people played in it.

“Were you close?” Kol asked.

“He was a good friend.” I smiled through the impending tears, wanting to only remember the good and not dwell in the pain. “He was a good teacher, too.”

Kol took the cue and steered the conversation away from my heartache.“And you’re good, you say?”

I smiled, grateful. “I believe I could put up a good fight. I’ve never had to use the skill in a real situation, but I could take Luka down, and he was among our best swordsmen.”

“Fascinating,” Kol mused. “The arms master will be happy to hear that.”

“Arms master?” I asked.

“That’s the instructor in charge of weapons training,” he clarified.

“Oh. Why would they be happy to know?”

“Because you start your training soon.” Kol beamed.

I went cold.

“Don’t pull that face.”

I schooled my features. “How soon?”

“In a few days. You do have a magic wielding session tomorrow, but that’s really more of an assessment of your powers.”

“Well, that shouldn’t take long, then,” I muttered. Assessing nothing would take no time at all.

“Do you have some other plans tomorrow, little sunshine?” Kol teased, nudging me playfully.

I shook my head while the pit of my stomach churned at the reality of this whole new life they expected me to jump feet first into. I didn’t ask for any of this… but I agreed to do it in exchange for getting back to see what was left of the compound and my village. And honestly, what else was I going to do? Sit in my rooms all day and stare at the walls?

“One of us will come and get you on the way to breakfast and show you the kitchens and mess hall, then at least you’ll never go hungry. The kitchen is open pretty much constantly since patrols are in shifts, so you can go there any time,” Kol said.

“Shouldn’t Nyx be showing her the ropes?” Casimir asked.

My stomach turned at the mere mention of his name.

Kol groaned. “My brother has his head up his arse today. If it was up to him, our Zaria would still be twiddling her thumbs in the healer’s wing.”

“Well, his loss is our gain,” Kiera added with a warm smile.

I liked this group. They were clearly close, and the feeling of family among them gave me hope that there was a new family for me out there, whether it was here or somewhere I had yet to go. If these fae could come together from all over the Twelve Kingdoms and make a family together, I could have that one day, too.

When the drinks were finished, we all walked back to the flyers’ accommodations in the palace grounds.