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whispers.

I’m not sure why she called me over here. I’m glad I

came because she really looks like she needs someone to talk

to right now and I’m glad to be a friend, even if it’s taking all

my concentration and willpower not to shift closer and set my

hand on her arm or leg. As a friend. Comfortingly. To take her

hand in mine. Because that’s what friends do for each other.

They offer comfort when something is wrong.

I expected her to tell me something drastic. That she

has a secret fiancé that her parents don’t approve of and this

was all for show to throw them off track. That she’s moving

away. That she’s made the decision to go back to college like

she was talking about and she won’t have time. I did think,

from her panicked tone, that there might be something truly

wrong, and that scared me nearly senseless, so I made myself

not think about it.

But this? She’s already told me this. Over breakfast. A

few times before. So I’m confused about what the emergency

was. For once, I don’t say anything. I just wait, sensing that

there has to be more.

“I- ’m the problem. I’m always going to be the

problem. I haven’t been honest with you. With myself. With

anyone. Ever. I…I’m not… That is…”

This is getting weird. Is she secretly married? Was she

really just doing this for show? Did her parents know about it?

Maybe that was the point. She wanted her parents to know so

they’d stop trying to hook her up with guys she didn’t want to

go out with. Family friends. Things that made her life messy

and complicated. Maybe she was just doing it for them and not

for herself at all.