Page 32

too. Pleasant. Apparently, he has a good job and is well-off.

He wants kids. He’s funny. So why can’t I enjoy myself?

Actually, why can’t I feel anything at all?

My fries come along with the pizza Jeff ordered. We’re

both still nursing our first beers. I drove, so I won’t be having

any more than that.

&nbs

p; “Want to split?” Jeff indicates his pizza and my fries.

“Absolutely.”

I’m still not nervous. Not even when I just about land a

fry right onto my blouse and have to catch it with my mouth

like a trained dog with an impressively long tongue. I guess I

have some hidden talents that I didn’t know about.

“First dates can be weird,” Jeff says after a few more

minutes tick by. “This doesn’t feel weird at all. I’m having a

great time. You?”

“Yeah.” I nod. “Definitely.”

I actually am having a good time. Jeff is easy to talk to.

That doesn’t mean that I’m attracted to him though. Because I

know that I’m not. I’m just not sure why that is, because he

checks every single one of my boxes and he’s extremely good

looking. He’s not even an asshole, like most rich, good-

looking guys are. He’s going to make someone a great catch.

I just know it’s not going to be me.

Which does make it awkward when the date ends. Jeff

lets me take home the leftover food, like a gentleman. He

gives me a hug, but asks me first if that’s okay, and it is,

because I’m not overly hands off and I don’t find him creepy

or overbearing. He doesn’t cop a feel, so I know he’s a winner.

I want to like him that way. I want to agree to a date when he