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“Still. It’s really hard to be left like that without

someone even talking it out. That’s really damaging and rude.”

Steph’s lips curl up just a little and something warm sparks in

me at her outrage. She doesn’t get angry like everyone else,

but it’s obvious that she is. Maybe that’s her inner processing

that she was talking about.

“I was totally unprepared to meet you.” Now that I’m

talking, it’s suddenly so much easier to say what I want to say.

“To be with you. I kept thinking that it’s going to come. That

moment where you decide it’s not for you or that you’re done

with it or that you leave. I kept waiting for it. I talked myself

out of it. It was nothing you did. Honestly. I just kept waiting

for it to end because that’s my biggest fear.”

“I know that I’m not one to talk, really. You were right

when you said that I don’t have any experience with this, or

almost none. All the relationships I’ve been in, I’ve been

almost happy to see them end. I knew that none of them were

right and that was always hanging over me. As for being

scared though? I’m scared too. I think everyone gets scared

when they meet that person who means a lot to them. But I

also think that feeling things after a short time is legitimate

too. It’s our body talking to us, giving us signals, working like

it should, but then everything else creeps in. Doubt. Life.

Other signals. Other chemicals. They get stronger, those

instincts, and we can’t ignore them.”

“That’s very…scientific.”

Steph breaks into a grin. “I know. But I think it’s true. I

just want you to know that I understand. I think fear is very

natural. If you don’t want to do this, then I get it. I get that you

weren’t looking for me or for a relationship and maybe you’re