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think about, but it’s not just that. I think they have learned that

they can respect each other and get along. Maybe that’s not

strange. Maybe that’s what taking a step back can do. Maybe it

gives a person unique perspective.

I know it gave me some. I didn’t ask Steph to meet me

here. I wanted to text her. I tried. Probably hundreds of times.

I’d start, and every single time I’d trail off at just a few words.

I tried emailing her. I wrote her this big long draft trying to

explain how I felt, but then I deleted that too.

I have a feeling that she didn’t ask me here to blast me

for what happened almost a week ago. She has way too much

tact for that. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I am immature. Maybe

it is my age. Maybe I don’t know how to handle my emotions.

Maybe I’m not good at talking things out.

I used to be so hard on Mandy and John about that. At

least inside. I never said anything to my sister. I’d watch them

argue and then it would spiral out of control and most of the

time it would turn into a fight and I just couldn’t figure out

why someone couldn’t just stop. Why they couldn’t just ask

for some time to sort out their thoughts and feelings instead of

just yelling and screaming and not even hearing or considering

what the other person was trying to say. Getting mad only

made everything worse. You can’t hear. You can’t express

yourself. You just panic and get even angrier and that doesn’t

help anyone.

I feel like a massive hypocrite. I feel like I should

apologize to my sister for ever thinking that she and John just

couldn’t get it right. They weren’t the right fit, that was

obvious, but still. I thought they could just get along if they

tried harder.