Page 99 of The Lilac River

She blinked, her anger cracking just enough for something else to peek through, fear maybe. Hope.

"Talk," she muttered. "Get it over with."

Chapter 37

The Reason - Hoobastank

Lily

My heart sank as Nash dragged Grandma’s old footstool closer to the sofa and sat down. Too close. Way too close. I would’ve preferred if he sat across the room, in Mom’s chair, far enough away for me to breathe properly. But Nash Miller was never one to play it safe. Never had been.

He leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees, his eyes locked on me like I was the only thing in the world worth looking at. And just like that, I was sixteen again, trembling in the grass behind the barn while he kissed promises into my skin.

"I felt," he began, "like I disrespected you. Like I treated you like some one-night thing. Like you didn’t matter. And you do, Lila. You always have."

There was no hesitation in his voice, just that low rumble that always did something treacherous to my insides.

He glanced down, dragging his thumb across his bottom lip, a small, nervous tic I hadn’t seen in years. It hit me like a punch,the familiarity of it. The vulnerability. Like under all the muscle and time and pain, my Nash was still in there.

"Even when I was mad at you… you still mattered. Hell, you probably mattered more because of it."

The air thickened between us, heavy and aching, like the room itself knew we were toeing the edge of something irreversible.

"It was my choice, too," I said quietly. "It’s not like you forced me."

Nash’s eyes snapped back to mine, fierce and clear. "I know. But my mom raised me to respect the woman I love."

The wordlovehit me like a bell. Loud. Clear. Impossible to ignore.

He didn’t correct himself. And I didn’t ask him to.

A shiver worked its way down my spine. Not just from the memories of last night, but from the sheer, terrifying hope that maybe... there could be a future. Something flickered to life in the wreckage I’d been carrying for a decade.

“Concentrate, Lila.”

My head snapped up to find Nash smirking, his dimple barely visible beneath a rough shadow of stubble. Like he knew exactly what he was doing to me.

"You used to bite your lip like that whenever you were thinking dirty thoughts," he teased, voice dropping into a low, rough timbre. "Nice to see some things haven’t changed."

I blushed hard, and it only made his smile widen, like catching me out was his new favorite game. I hated how easily he could still fluster me. I loved it too.

"I heard what you said," I told him. "But you don’t need to worry. I don’t think you disrespected me at all."

"Good to know," he said, his expression sobering. "But it doesn’t stop me from feeling like I let you down."

Guilt twisted inside me, sharp and relentless. If anyone had let someone down, it wasn’t him. It was me. Over and over again.

"Honestly, Nash. You didn’t."

He leaned in closer, hands clasped together, voice soft. "So, you understand now? That my regret wasn’t about us, it was about where we were. You're not some mistake, Lily. You’re..."

His voice faded, but I felt the words he didn’t say.You’re everything.

"I didn’t know just how much I still needed you," he finished, and it shattered me.

He looked at me like I hung the moon. And it was the most dangerous, beautiful thing in the world.

"I understand," I whispered. "And I accept that we probably shouldn’t have?—"