Page 50 of The Lilac River

"Bullshit." Cassidy grinned. "You were radiating regret and sorrow and anger tonight, not freedom."

I said nothing, and Cassidy’s face softened. "You don’t have to tell me. But if you want to, you can trust me."

The words stuck in my throat. I’d carried this secret so long it had twisted into something black and heavy inside me.

"My dad was in prison for murder," I said finally.

Cassidy’s mouth dropped open.

"Nash’s father found out. Threatened to expose it if I didn’t leave," I continued, the words tumbling out now. "My mom… she couldn’t handle it."

"Would Nash have cared?" Cassidy asked, her voice gentle.

"No," I admitted. "But it would have crushed my mom."

Cassidy sat forward, her eyes full of compassion. "What did he do?"

"Held up an elderly couple. Shot them both when they refused to hand over their wedding rings."

"Jesus, Lily," Cassidy breathed.

"My mom turned him in," I added quietly. "She sacrificed everything to protect me."

Cassidy crossed the room and took my hands. "That’s not on you. Or her. That's all on him."

I nodded, blinking back tears.

"So why not tell Nash now?" she asked.

"Because the mayor made it clear: if I get close to Nash again, he’ll tell everyone about Dad and then get me and Mom fired. And I can’t do that to her."

Cassidy’s brow furrowed. "Your dad’s dead, though?"

"Yeah. Murdered in prison." I gave a hollow laugh. "Ironically, over a pack of cigarettes."

"Still doesn’t make it your burden to carry."

"Maybe," I whispered. "But I lost Nash once. I don't think I could survive losing him again. Even if it’s just glimpses of him at school."

“But surely if you told him?”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure I could. I’ve already made so many mistakes.” I sighed wearily. “I wouldn’t want to make another one.”

“What mistakes did you make? It was our damn Mayor who made you leave.” Cassidy’s jaw was tight with consternation, and it was good to have someone on my side. But even so…

"Getting married was my biggest mistake,” I said softly, staring at nothing and remembering everything. “I catch myself wondering if I married Erik to prove I could actually go through with it. To prove that I wasn't just waiting for Nash."

Cassidy’s expression was carefully neutral. "Do you really believe that?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe it was the safety. Erik had everything mapped out, his career, our life together, even how many kids we'd have and when." I gave a hollow laugh. "Everything except what I actually wanted."

"He sounds perfect on paper," Cassidy scoffed.

"He was," I responded with an empty laugh. "Principal by thirty-five. House in the suburbs. Country club membership."

"But?"

I met her eyes. "But he couldn't stand when I deviated from his plan. He'd never raise his voice, never make a scene. He'djust... withdraw. Give me that disappointed look, like I'd let him down somehow." I swallowed hard. "Three years of feeling like I was constantly failing at being his wife."