Page 95 of The Lilac River

"I think Daddy might like you too."

The world tilted for a second. My heart thudded heavily as she grinned at me, full of secrets.

"I don’t know about that, Bertie," I said weakly.

"I think you do," she giggled. "Because he has a picture of you both."

I froze. "A picture?"

"He’s kissing you. You’re in the lavender field. I found it in his drawer. I wasn’t snooping!" she added quickly.

"That’s good," I managed, my heart a chaotic mess. “And that picture must have been a long time ago.”

I could still remember lying in the fields as a teenager, the warm buzz of bees in the air, the heady perfume of the lavender so strong it made me dizzy. It had always felt like magic there.

"You do look young. Older than me but much younger than you are now, but I can tell it’s you. It says, ‘me and Lila in the lilac river’ on the back," she said proudly. "I didn’t know your name was Lila. I won’t tell anyone."

Adrenaline rushed through me. Nash had kept it. He hadn’t burned every memory of us after all.

"I think the picture makes him sad," Bertie said, her little voice somber.

"Sad?"

She nodded." I hear him open the drawer. He says a bad word, then slams it shut again. And there’s nothing else in there. Just that."

My throat thickened painfully.

"Maybe he’s just sad he’s not young anymore," I offered, my voice rough.

She thought about it seriously, then shook her head. "Nope. He’s sad you’re not friends anymore. Anyway, I’m going to tell Macey she’s talking rubbish about my grandma.”

Before I could respond, she spun away, marching off to give Macey a piece of her mind.

And just like that, my heart shattered all over again.

The noise in the staffroom thudded against my skull. My throat was scratchy, my head pounding.

"Can I sit here?"

I looked up. Marty Harris, our fifth grade teacher. His eyebrows were raised in question as he licked his lips nervously, food on his tie as usual.

He’d been asking to sit next to me at lunch all week, which I had a sneaky suspicion was him leading up to asking me on a date. Of course, I’d said it was okay, but today it was the last thing I wanted.

Plus, he reeked of cologne which indicated to me he might have finally found the courage. Today of all days.

"Erm, su?—"

"Hey! Sorry I’m late. Are we still going for that walk?"

Bless Cassidy and her impeccable timing.

"Yes. Absolutely." I grabbed my sandwich and let her drag me outside.

"You owe me a drink," she hissed as we slipped through the doors.

"I know," I groaned. "I would’ve said yes. I’m pathetic."

"Exactly why you need me." She led me to a shaded bench under a tree. "Sit. You look terrible."