Page 103 of The Lilac River
"Lily," I said sharply, the edge in my voice unintentional but impossible to dull, "what did he do?"
"I-I don't…" Her bottom lip quivered as she scrubbed at her cheeks, but the tears kept coming. Silent. Devastating.
"You have to tell me," I said, my voice low and rough, vibrating with things I didn’t know how to name. "Because some of the things running through my head are bad, baby. Real bad."
She flinched at the endearment. That stung more than I was prepared for.
But finally, finally, she opened her mouth to speak.
"No. Don’t tell me," I snapped before she could. I turned away from her, pacing across the room, dragging my hands through my hair like that could stop the fire building in my chest.
"All I need to know is that you left because of him."
But even as I said it, the words burned like acid. I couldn’t stop myself. Couldn’t stop needing it.
I turned back, voice raw and unraveling.
"No. Tell me. Tell me exactly how the hell he made you walk away from me."
My lungs burned. My vision tunneled. I could barely breathe. My chest felt like it was being crushed from the inside like my ribs were trying to collapse under the weight of what she hadn’t said yet.
Lily pushed herself off the couch and reached for me, grabbing my arm with a hand that shook like a leaf in a storm.
"Nash, please sit down. You’re worrying me."
I didn’t want to. Didn’t want to be still, didn’t want to feel caged. But when I looked into her eyes, wide and wet and full of fear, my fury shifted. Just slightly. Just enough.
So, I sat. Rigid. Braced.
She perched back on the sofa, spine straight, hands planted beside her like she needed the anchor. She looked so brave and so broken all at once that it made my heart split wide open.
"There’s something you need to know about my dad," she said, and I opened my mouth, but she rushed ahead.
"My father…he’s in prison. Was in prison, anyway. For murder." Her voice was hollow. "He killed an elderly couple for a hundred dollars and a pocket watch. He’s dead now, killed in prison for a pack of cigarettes."
It barely registered at first. The numbness had started to creep in, crawling across my skin like frostbite.
"Your dad found out. And he said if I didn’t leave town, if I didn’t let you go, he would tell everyone. He would ruin my mom’s life all over again."
Tears streamed down her face now, unchecked and endless. "And I couldn’t do it, Nash. I couldn’t ruin her life again. She had friends. A job. A home she loved. I couldn’t take it from her."
Something inside me snapped.
I wanted to destroy something. No, I wanted to destroy him. Michael fucking Miller.
"I’m so sorry, Lila," I rasped. The words were pitiful. A whisper against a hurricane. But they were all I had.
"He wanted you focused on Alabama. Wanted you free of distractions. I was... collateral damage."
My body buckled beneath the weight of it all. I dropped in front of her, brushing away her tears with trembling fingers.
"You know I would have chosen you over football, right?" I whispered fiercely.
"I do," she sobbed. "And that’s why I’m so ashamed. I should have come to you. I shouldn’t have let him bully me."
I cupped her face between my hands, heart shattering as I watched the guilt ripple through her.
"The saddest thing," I murmured, forehead resting against hers, "is that we lost each other for nothing."
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