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NoOne: I’m so fucking sorry. My dad is a piece of shit. Maybe I should’ve told you more. Maybe I should’ve warned you that he is the worst type of human just in case you ever came into contact with him. I never know what to do around him. I feel like a little kid all over again. Panic sets in, and I just need to hide. I couldn’t even save you.
Sadness creeps up my throat again. I close my eyes briefly before I read the rest of West’s messages. I don’t know why he’s gone back to using NoOne. There has to be a reason, though. I’m no therapist, but I’m guessing it’s because he feels more comfortable going incognito.
NoOne: I’ll never forgive myself. And I’ll understand if you don’t either. Everything is going to shit. I’m lost. Maybe I’m too fucking weak for you.
My heart starts to pound, and my stomach twists. I don’t like the sound of that. I keep reading through his texts, checking the time he sent them. Midnight.
NoOne: I’m outside your window.
NoOne: I knocked on it, but you aren’t there.
NoOne: I just need you.
My gaze flicks to the window. He sent these over an hour ago. I sit on the edge of my bed, wondering what to type.
McKennaK: I’m here.
I hear a faintpingand glance at the window again.
It can’t be…
I put my phone down on my bed and walk toward the glass. It’s pitch black outside, except for the streetlight that’s in front of the house, but it doesn’t illuminate this side of the yard.
Blinking, I strain my eyes. If I’m not mistaken, there’s a shadow on the grass that’s darker than the other areas. I unlock my window and open it, the wood groaning in protest as I push it up. All of a sudden, the black mass shifts.
“West?” I hiss.
A head peeks up. The hint of light coming from my bedroom washes him in a soft glow. It is him. I lift the screen, too, shoving it open as much as possible. I stand there in the tiny shorts and top I changed into after Sydney and I got home earlier, and the crisp, middle-of-the-night air pours in, sending a chill through me.
He gets to his feet, hunching over so he can peer in through the opening. Dark shadows taint his handsome face, and his worry lines are pulled taut. Pieces of dead leaves cling to him.
“You stayed outside my room?”
He lifts his shoulders in a hopeless shrug. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Knock on the door?” I offer.
He casts his gaze down. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me.”
I pause for a few seconds, taking him in. He’s so uncertain. So quiet. As NoOne, he’s always said everything he wanted to say, but maybe as West he feels incapable of having the same liberties. “Get in here,” I tell him softly.
He places two hands on the sill, then heaves himself through the opening, which is barely big enough to fit his body. He uses the wall as leverage to gracefully pull his leg through and stand to his full height. I step back to watch him, then cross my arms over my chest.
He takes one peek at me and then turns around to close both the screen and glass of the window, stopping the flow of chilly air. Then, he flicks the lock back into place and tugs the shade down. He stays there with his back turned for a few seconds before slowly turning around.
“I—” His mouth moves a fraction, but nothing comes out. Then, in a whoosh, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
I step up to him, my heart hurting for how lost he looks. “It’s not your fault.”
“You were so upset,” he says, eyes glazing over.
“I was embarrassed…and hurt,” I force out. I close my eyes, remembering. Everyone was looking at me. Some glanced away again almost immediately, but there were others who were gawking. “Regardless, it wasn’t you.”
He scowls. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just destined to be no one.”
I reach for him. He’ll never be no one. Not to me.
I grip his bicep, then move my hand up his shoulder. By the time I get to his neck, cupping the corded muscles there, he peers at me. That instant our gazes connect, I feel it. A connection so tight that it pulls us together time and time again. “Do you love me?” I ask. He nods, his green-eyed gaze piercing mine. “Show me.”