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CHAPTERONE
Kenna
If my lifehad a theme song right now, it’d be “Sunshine” by OneRepublic.
Sweet baby Jesus, I’m back.
I almost skip through the pool area to Coach’s office, the chemical smell of chlorine assaulting my nostrils in the best way. God, I missed this. I missed the echo my teammates give off in this cavernous room. The way the divers’ splash into the water sounds like an orchestra coming out of surround sound speakers.
A little bit of sunshine…,I sing inside my head, trying to keep my footsteps steady even though all I want to do is dance with joy.
The note in my hand feels like a hot poker zinging electricity up my arms and into my chest. A rush. A surge. A feeling I haven’t been that familiar with these last few months because of the damn football team. Bulldogs, my ass. They suck. No loyalty. No strength. I hope they—
“Kenna!” a voice shouts.
I take a deep breath, evening out the Niagara-Falls worthy waterfall of anger that suddenly overtook me.
Welcome to the eighth wonder of the world…McKenna Knowles’s rage.
I have issues of the mad kind. The injustice variety. The kind that makes you want to spit swords and slice through dumb, asshole jocks.
I lift my hand to wave at the teammate who called my name, plastering a smile on my face, and for a few seconds, it feels like everything is back to normal. I’m at the pool. Soon, my hair will smell like chlorine again.
Then her gaze flits, almost imperceptibly. A quick peek. A tiny slide of the eye, really…
And my world comes crashing downagain.
I clasp the note in my hand and turn around, stomping toward the locker room. Things will never be the same, but I wish I didn’t have to wear my past on my face for everyone to see.
Unlike the pool area, the swim and dive team locker rooms are quiet, secluded. Just what I need. I lean against the door, taking a deep breath. My mom’s new recurring words hit me. “They don’t mean it. Curiosity is normal.”
Yeah, well, curiosity killed the cat, and I’m about to grow claws à la Wolverine.
As usual, the anger doesn’t get me anywhere, so I close my eyes and do my breathing exercises. That’s right. I’mthatkind of screwed up. I’m a twenty-one-year-old college student who needs to utilize breathing techniques for anger, depression, anxiety… You name it, I probably got it.
A little bit of sunshine…
A little bit of sunshine…
I keep repeating the OneRepublic lyrics until they come out fast and happy again. No matter what, I have this note. No matter what, I’ll be back on the dive team as of today. This is what I’ve been waiting for. The only thing I’ve been striving for.
Mission fucking accomplished.
It’s almost like a puzzle piece clicks into place, and I’m off again, skipping for good measure.
Fake it ’til you make it and all that jazz.
Nothing should break me from this good mood. I’m getting my old life back, and that’s all I want.
A few steps away from Coach’s office, I spot movement from the corner of my eye. I drag my gaze from Coach’s short, blonde hair pulled into her usual half-up do, Bulldog-blue collared shirt, and khaki shorts to the small frame staring into her locker. Her long, thin arm resting on the metal.
“Girl!” I shout, bursting with excitement again. This time, it isn’t even manufactured. “Did you get my texts?” My voice goes up several octaves, shocking even me.
Laney jumps, and I laugh.
She doesn’t match me, though. Her face drains of color as she glances at me, and my stomach squeezes.
I’d been calling and texting her all morning. I wanted my dive partner to be the first to hear my amazingly incredible news, and I was even hoping we might tell Coach together…