Page 52

Smiling, she nods. I turn and walk to the edge of the porch, smiling as I hear her giggling. I turn to face her again and she straightens. I close the distance between us, standing a little closer than I was the first time, and take a moment to be captivated by hazel eyes. I can hear the moment her breath catches in her throat and the electricity between us thrums to life.

“Hey, Kat,” I breathe out.

“Hey,” she replies just as quietly. She clears her throat slightly. “Would you like to come in? So we can talk.”

I nod, smirking down at her. “Yeah, I think that’d be a great idea.”

I follow her inside, closing the door behind me. She leads me into the living room, motioning to the couch for me to sit. As I do, she picks up the remote to turn off whatever she was watching in order to focus on whatever comes next. She sits next to me, keeping enough distance that I can’t really reach out for her, but not so far away this moment feels hopeless.

“I think the first thing we need to talk about is how you’re feeling?” The look she gives me is so unamused that I can’t help but chuckle. “I know, I know, but you were with him for two years. There’s nothing wrong with not being okay with the way things ended or needing some space before we jump into something.”

Her gaze locks on mine, wanting me to know she’s being serious. “More than anything, I’m mad that I let it go on this long, Carter. He wasn’t a good boyfriend, but he got in my head, and I let him do that. The final straw was finding out what he did to you, and it’s not even because it’s you. I just . . . I don’t put up with that.”

“But you were willing to put up with him doing it to you?” My heart broke a little as she shyly nodded. “Kat, that’s . . . that’s not fair to you. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. What makes it okay for someone to do that to you, but not someone else?”

She reaches out, her fingers brushing over my hand. I intertwine our fingers. “I know that now. It’s always been easier for me to accept it when it’s directed at me because I grew up being treated like a second thought. I’ve gotten used to it.”

I squeeze her hand a little tighter. “That doesn’t make it better.”

Her shoulders slump, and she pulls her hand away. “I know, Carter,” she sighs, burying her face in her hands. “I know and I’m working on it, I promise. I have an appointment set up with my therapist tomorrow to go over all of this and really start focusing on what I want. If you want to wait until that’s done before we really talk about this, I understand.”

“Hey, no.” I stand up, moving so I can kneel before her. I take her hands in mine, forcing her to look at me. Her eyes are glassy with unshed tears. She’s not crying over the idea of being single for the first time in years. She’s crying over the idea that her past relationship would somehow make me want her less. I need to make sure she knows that’s the furthest thing from the truth. “I want this, Kat. I want you.”

“I’m a mess, Carter,” she says with a laugh, but her quivering lip betrays her.

“We’re all a mess, and I’m working on myself, too. That’s life. You don’t have to reach some level or pass some test to be someone I want to spend time with. Spend my life with.”

“Your life?” Her eyes widen, my words sinking in.

“I can’t tell you what the future is going to bring, Katrina, but this chapter of my life, yeah, I want you with me.”

She looks at me in awe, eyes wide, and mouth gaping open. It might be too much for some people to hear, but it’s always been who I am. I’ve never shied away from my emotions; why would I start now? Especially when staying quiet could result in me losing her?

“This is all in your hands, though,” I emphasize. “I know where I stand. I know what I want with you, but I’m not going to push you into something you’re not ready for. If you need some time to be single, I get it. You know where I am, and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be ready when you are.”

Her bottom lip disappears between her teeth. I track the movement with my gaze, but don’t say anything else. Slowly, I stand, ready to move back to my side of the couch and fall back into the role of a friend who cares about her, but she stands with me. Gripping my hand, she won’t let me move. We’re standing chest to chest, and maybe this isn’t about to be over before it starts.

Her eyes search my face, but I keep my gaze locked on her eyes., wanting her to understand I’m not going anywhere.

“Carter?” Her voice is a whisper, our joined hands dropping between us. “Will you kiss me?”

This isn’t my first kiss, not by a long shot, but this is going to be one of those first kisses that always matter. One you’ll never be able to forget, that will come with feelings you’ll be chasing for the rest of your life.

Our eyes are lock together, anticipation shining in her gaze. I release one of her hands, trailing mine up her arm until I can place it on the back of her neck, my fingers diving into her thick blonde hair at the nape of her neck. She lets out a quiet gasp, her own hand coming up to grip my shoulder. Tilting my head ever so slightly, I tug her closer. Foreheads pressed together, noses brushing against each other; I take a second to breathe, letting her pull away if she wants to, before pressing my lips against hers.

Her lips are warm and soft, just as I always thought they’d be. She melts against me. Kissing back, her hand grips my shoulder tighter, pulling me closer. Her lips part, allowing my tongue to dip inside, but no matter how badly I want to, now isn’t the time to deepen the kiss. I just want this moment to be as perfect as it is right now.

The rest can come later.

She seems to get my hint, allowing the kiss to be fairly chaste, but it doesn’t stop the rampant feelings coursing through me. I want to pull her closer, want to know what it’s like to hold her forever, and take whatever she’s willing to give me.

I pull back before pressing back in for one more short kiss.

The awed look is still in her eyes when they flutter open to look at me once more, and I’m sure that same look is mirrored in my own gaze.

“Good?” I remove my hand from her hair, pushing a few strands away from her eyes.

“Perfect,” she admits. “That’s what a first kiss should feel like, right?”