Page 47

And that’s when it clicks. This must be it. Homophobia is a deal-breaker for me, and Will knows that. Plus, Nashville University is where Will went to school for his undergrad; no one told me Carter had attended there as well. I thought he graduated from Arizona with Bryce.

The photo that comes up with the article is of a much younger Carter and another guy I don’t recognize. Carter has his arm strung over the other guy’s shoulder, wide smiles stretched across their faces. They look like they’re at Pride, as Carter has a bisexual flag painted on one cheek and the other guy has a sheen of glitter across his cheeks, rainbow sunglasses covering his eyes. I can’t help but smile at how carefree they both look.

Skimming the article, I learn it’s from his first year in college:

“Carter Abrams, freshman at Nashville University, starts his championship season off by coming out as bisexual across all his social media accounts. Abrams, 18, posted the photo below with the following caption:

‘As my collegiate career begins to take off, I’ve been contemplating how I want to tackle this aspect of my personal life. This isn’t something new and it’ll come as no shock to those who know me, but I feel the need to share it here: I’m bi. I’m a bisexual athlete who is proud of who I am, and I didn’t want to hide this anymore.

I want to take a moment to thank my boyfriend, family, and friends for being so supportive. I will not be answering any questions, but I want to share a piece of advice with those wondering if they should come out: You do not owe an explanation to anyone. The decision is your own, even if you feel like it’s being taken from you. If you make the decision to come out, please know there are people and resources to support you. Who you are is valid, who you choose to love is beautiful, and you’re perfect the way you are.’

We were unable to get in contact with Abrams or his coach about this announcement, but we did catch up with Bryce Clark at a meet in Arizona the day Abrams made the announcement:

‘Like Carter said, this isn’t new information to anyone who knows him. I’m proud of him for taking a stand and opening up the dialogue for other queer athletes. Especially when they feel they’re forced to make a decision based on outside pressures. It changes nothing. He’s still my best friend and a hell of a swimmer. This is the only comment I’ll be making on this.’”

Any question I have is gone. This was Will’s doing. I have no idea how he did it or what he had over Carter, but he was the one who took the choice away from him. This wasn’t a moment of celebrating who he is, and who he loves. This was taken from him.

The rest of the article discusses what this could mean for his career, which was ludicrous to me. Why does it matter? What difference does someone’s sexuality make to doing well in the sport? I read through their reasons, rolling my eyes at each one and then, my eye catches on one more quote.

The author was only able to get a comment from one person on the team, and it was Will. I read the comment once, then twice, and felt sick.

“I don’t really care who he dates, but I think everyone should be more cautious about concealing information they don’t want to be public knowledge.”

I’m up and out my door before I even realize it.

March2024

I pound on Josie and Bryce’s door incessantly until it flings open to reveal an annoyed, shirtless Bryce. “Kat, what the fuck?”

Blinded by my need for answers, I push past him and make my way into the apartment. I barely notice Josie stumble out of the bedroom, half asleep, as she attempts to put on her glasses. I’m not even sure what time it is, I just know it’s late. I turn to face Bryce, who takes a startled step back.

“Whoa!” He holds his hands up in surrender.

“Why do you hate Will, Bryce?” I clock the emotions as they move across his face—surprise, confusion, realization, and then defense. “The real reason.”

Josie moves to stand beside her boyfriend. “What’s going on, Kat? It’s late.”

“I’m sorry about that, Josie.” I really am sorry for waking them up, but I need to know the truth. “I just need to talk to Bryce—get some answers.”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” He juts out his chin. “Will is an asshole who thinks he’s better than everyone else, and from what I hear, you already know that.”

“I know that Carter originally went to Nashville University with Will.” His cocky bravado drops ever so slightly. “Will never told me that. He just said he knew you guys because you swam against each other, so I never told you who he is. When he showed up, I knew there was more to it than that. Especially because no one has texted me back all weekend. Tell me the truth, Bryce.”

He doesn’t flinch; he doesn’t really give me much of anything to go off of. His loyalty to Carter is unwavering, and I’m clearly fraternizing with the enemy. “Why don’t you tell me what you think you know?”

My gaze drifts to Josie, who looks more confused than I’ve ever felt, before I finally look at Bryce. I can’t help but wonder how much of this she’s been told and if I’ll be betraying Carter by bringing it up in front of her.

“Seriously, Bryce, what’s going on?” Josie demands, and that’s his opening. It’s his one chance to get me to not talk in front of her.

But he just stares at me, challenging me to be the one who says something. I remain just as quiet as him. Carter wasn’t wrong when he said we’re both ridiculously stubborn. “Katrina thinks she has us all figured out, that’s all.”

There’s a bite to his words that I’m trying not to take too seriously. Right now, I don’t feel like I’m part of this group at all. He’s protecting Carter, though, and everyone else he cares about. Right now, all he knows is what Will is capable of and that I’m dating him. He doesn’t trust me, and I’m not sure I blame him. The only way to get him back on my side is to tell him what I know and make sure he understands how not okay I am with it.

“I was at my parent’s house for lunch today; Will and I got into a fight. Somehow, we got on the topic of you and Carter, and he has a lot of opinions about the two of you, specifically about what you’re doing with your lives after swimming and your overall success. He wanted to pretend the sport was nothing more than a hobby, but I did some research after your confrontation, and I knew it wasn’t true. Nothing he’d told me about his swimming career was true, so I called him out. As I’m sure you can imagine, he wasn’t happy with me.”

“So, he’s a pretentious prick.” Bryce shrugs. “None of this is new information to either one of us. You think I don’t know he was pissed he never made a national team, let alone the Olympic one? Jacobson hates anyone who gets what he thinks he deserves.”

I nod along with everything he says, completely agreeing. “Trust me, I know! But his reaction isn’t what was surprising. It was something he said when he dropped me off after an extraordinarily long, silent drive. I tried to get him to tell me the truth about his issues with you, but all he told me was that Carter should have been more cautious with the information he didn’t want to be public knowledge.”