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To realize that just because someone should love me doesn’t mean they do, nor does it mean I deserve it any less.

I’m used to the biting, underhanded comments, but I’m not used to them being directed at people I care about. People who aren’t here to defend themselves. I’ve always been better at standing up for others than I am at standing up for myself, so it’s really no surprise to feel myself reacting this way.

“You’re wrong,” I bite out. “They are going to be part of history. Eventually, no one will know who any of us are. There’s more than one way to have a legacy and they’ve found theirs.”

Will scoffs. “That’s not a legacy.”

“Then why did you chase it?”

Silence falls around the room, even Betty stops refilling my sweet tea to see his reaction. Thomas and my mom stare at him curiously, but Will looks like he’d about to explode.

“I’m not sure I’m following what’s happening here.” Mom’s frowning as she looks between me and Will, then to Thomas like he somehow has the answers.

I’m not backing down now. “Will was a talented swimmer in college. He had a couple of championship titles, even when to a couple professional meets—”

“I did what my coaches asked of me!” he argues, cheeks flushed. “I had scholarship requirements I had to keep up with.”

“Then why did you haveAdair Swimminginterview you before the 2016 Trials?” I’m so tired of letting him make me look like an idiot. “You know, the meet that determines whether or not you made the Olympic team? The one that happened after graduation.”

If we weren’t in the presence of my family, I’m sure his clenched fists would have banged against the table. Instead, he just leans toward me, scowling. “How do you know about the article? Did Josie and Mia tell you about it?”

“They didn’t have to. I know how to do an internet search, Will.” I’m so tired of him talking down to me, making me feel small, especially in front of someone else. “You almost made the team. You got third in the 400-meter freestyle.”

“What point are you trying to make here, Katrina?” He goes for casual, taking a sip of his beer. The way his glare becomes even harsher, though, gives him away.

“I’m just confused as to why you’re giving Bryce and Carter so much shit for going after a dream you also chased.” I’m pushing every button possible, but I don’t care. Part of me wishes he’d explode just enough to give me a reason to end it here and now. I want to embarrass him the same way he’s constantly embarrassing me. “Is it because you’re bitter they made it, and you couldn’t?”

He slams his beer on the table with so much force it echoes through the dining room; a small geyser of beer erupts all over the table. My mother flinches. “Let’s step outside for a minute, Katrina.”

I drop my arms, resting them in my lap as I shake my head. He doesn’t want to have this conversation in front of anyone else, but I can’t imagine a better situation. “I’m comfortable here, actually, and you’re avoiding the question. You’ve never had a problem talking in front of them before. Why now?”

Will knows my parents usually take his side in any argument we have, ending with them telling me to be better and more understanding as his girlfriend. I know that wouldn’t change this time, but he won’t come out looking fantastic this time. Which is why he wants to hide the argument away—why he wants to pretend there’s nothing he could do that would be seen negatively.

He grits his teeth. “I think this is a conversation that should be between you and me.”

“But why?” I press. “You have never shied away from talking about your achievements before, so why start now?”

“I don’t know why you’re being so dramatic,” Thomas interjects, confirming what I knew would happen. He’s going to take Will’s side and they’ll team up to make me feel small, just like they always do. “Will was a talented and accomplished athlete, much like our clients. He made the choice to pursue something more substantial in the end, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Will looks smug at the idea of Thomas coming to his defense. “Exactly. You should listen to your stepfather, Katrina.”

Thomas doesn’t give me the chance to say anything, clearly having had enough of our argument. He breaks the conversation up by asking Will if he’d like to see the new car he’d just bought. Will eagerly agrees, and just like that, it’s over. It’s over and I still didn’t get the last word. They’re walking away and I am still dating this utter asshole. And I hate it.

Mom is handed her next mimosa, and I know Thomas is going to have to carry her to the couch soon. “You should be more sensible, Katrina. If you keep speaking to him like that, he’s going to leave you.”

“A girl can dream,” I murmur, taking a sip of my sweet tea.

“What was that, dear?” Mom asks, brow arching.

“Nothing, Mom."

March2024

The entire ride back to Columbia is silent.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Will has a surgical podcast playing, which sounds exactly how a medical textbook would read to me—long, boring, and chock-full of scientific terminology I couldn’t understand. Besides that, for almost two hours, neither one of us says a single word. The silence isn’t even comfortable, it’s tense.

By the time we pull up to my rental, I’m over it. This weekend didn’t have to go down the way it did. He was the one who showed up to insult my friends. Will was also the one who continued to bad-mouth them when they weren’t even present. He was the one who got all huffy when I called him out on his bullshit and then ignored me for the whole drive back.