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“By being a charming, pompous asshole. “C’mon, Carter, you remember how he was able to wrap everyone else but us around his finger.”

“Ronan,” I remind him. “Ronan saw through him.”

“That’s because he’s also a charming, pompous asshole.” I laugh at the truth behind his statement. “The only difference is, he’s also a good guy. Kat will eventually see him for who he is.”

“If she doesn’t?”

“Then that’s on her, not you. Look, I know this might not be what you want to hear, but maybe some space would be good.”

There’s literally half a state between us, but I don’t say that aloud because space is a good idea. Bryce had warned me back when he brought her to the meet that I was getting too caught up in someone who was taken, and my reaction to news of who her boyfriend is just proves he’s right. “Space is probably a good idea.”

It’s going to suck, but what choice do I have?

“Don’t let her, or him, get to you this weekend,” Bryce continues. “There’s no reason this news should have a negative impact on your performance. You’ve got races to swim, focus on that.”

All swimmers have gotten good at it over the years, the way they can compartmentalize everything else going on in their lives and bring their focus to one thing. This, though, this has the power to knock me off my game. It’s not even about Kat, it’s about what happened between Will and me when we were kids and it’s not something I’ve ever been able to just get over.

Knowing he’s somewhat back in my life, existing just outside of it, makes me think back to all those years he did it on the blocks. When I couldn’t quite shake him off, no matter what I did. He was always there.

“I’m serious, Carter. Don’t let this prick get inside your head.”

“I’ll try,” I promised my friend, despite already knowing it was too late. “But I’m serious, too, Bryce. He doesn’t deserve Kat.”

Bryce concedes with a sigh. “No, he doesn’t, but we don’t get to tell her that.” There’s a slight commotion on the other end of the phone. “I gotta go. Let me know how your swims go.”

“Sure,” I promise, rubbing at my temples to push off a headache. This weekend is going to suck. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“No problem.”

The line goes dead, and I pull the phone away from my ear, staring at it for a long moment. A text bubble pops up from Katrina.

Why do you hate Will Jacobson so much?

Groaning, I toss the phone onto the other bed, needing it far away from me. Bryce is right, my focus needs to be on the meet, and I can’t let something like this get in my way. Ignoring her, at least right now, is the only answer I have.

Ignoringherdoesn’thelp.If anything, it distracts me through the whole rest of the meet and my swims are proof of it.

Friday night is an utter disappointment. I don’t even make the medal stand in the 400-meter IM final, which is one of the few races I’ve remained consistent in and have been improving on. The race takes concentration, and there’s a plan to it that’s more involved than simply trying not to die. Everything is off beat for me in that race. I can feel the ache in my muscles in a way I never have before and every time I try to concentrate, I just picture her with him, and I want to be sick. Even more discouraging, I come in third in the 200-meter freestyle that night. I’ve been the top finisher in that race for at least the last ten meets. It’s my other best shot at making the team.

That’s the end of the meet for me.

When I get back to my hotel on Friday night, I have a bunch of missed calls from Bryce and a couple from Mia and Josie. Bryce texts me as many times as he tries calling me, if not more. Josie and Mia give me some space by sending one text each to let me know they’re available if I want to talk. Bryce doesn’t get the hint, though, because I don’t want to talk.

I’m starting to understand why Bryce spent so many years refusing to give into his feelings for Josie, because this shit is hard. I’ve had plenty of relationships throughout my career, some that were even serious enough to talk about moving in together or marriage, but they all came naturally. There was nothing else complicating them; my partner had their career, and I had mine.

With Kat, there’s not even a relationship to talk about. The two of us are just coexisting in the same place with no real chance of meeting in the middle. She’s only here for as long as it takes to finish the remodel and then she’s going back to her life with Will fucking Jacobson and I’ll be stuck in Columbia, learning to get over someone I never had a chance of having.

This is why getting too close to someone is dangerous. Especially when you could see your future with them playing out. Which is exactly why Bryce never let Josie in.

I shouldn’t have let her in.

March2024

The weekend in Charleston is basically hell.

The charity event on Saturday is a night full of doctors kissing rich people’s asses, and I hate every moment of it. No one was all that interested in the charity of the event, as they prefer to spend the night talking about their lives, trying to one up one another. In these moments, Will schmoozes with the best of them. Normally, I could brush it off as him doing what he needs to do, but I see it differently now. Now I can see that Will wants to be them. He wants to be able to brag about where he vacations and what kind of car he drives.

Deep down I know he’ll be there one day, not because he works hard to take care of people but because he’s power hungry. I don’t want to be one of those wives on the arms of rich doctor husbands who are on the board of vague charities that can never talk about their cause. Spend the rest of my days brunching or getting a facial is not the life I want. I want a life that’s my own.