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Aminah lifts her chin and her sunglasses, placing them on her head. Her eyes are void of make-up, and it’s obvious she’s been crying. ‘I’m surprised you can recognise me, considering I’m not the same person any more.’

Ah. There’s my petty bestie. I sit down and reach out for her hand.

‘Aminah, I’m so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that—’

Aminah presses her lips together in an attempt to keep emotion in, pausing before speaking. ‘No, you definitely should have. You were right. I haven’t been myself. I haven’t even felt like myself, recently.’

‘Meenz. . .is that why you left without telling anyone? Ignoring our texts? We’ve been worried sick. Kofi is beside himself. He was about to call the police—’

‘What? Why? I haven’t got any texts! Also, I sent a message to the group chat before I left saying I just needed some space! I only left because I needed time to think and my mum was stressing me out about party favours...’ She slides her phone from her rose-pink Gucci bag, and when she checks it her face collapses. ‘Oh crap. I never sent it. Plus I muted my messages because I was trying to do this whole “disconnect from the world; be attuned with yourself” thing. Yet another example of me being a flop. Stressing my friends and my man out for no reason.’

I shake my head in alarm and squeeze her hand. Aminah never, ever speaks badly about herself. It scares me.

‘Aminah, stop. What are you talking about? You’re anything but a flop, and you know that. What’s going on?’

Aminah presses her hands to her lips, and squeezes her eyes shut, trembling. I immediately move my chair so I’m next to her, holding her. ‘Kiki. . .I am so, so sorry. About what I said. Not seeing what you must have been going through these past few months with the restaurant, and Malakai and Bakari and all of it, actually. To be honest, I’m just sorry for my behaviour generally the past six months. I’ve just been... This wedding has been so much pressure.’

‘It’s OK. I should have asked more questions–I saw something was off, but I was so wrapped up in my shit. I should have pushed—’

Aminah laughs humourlessly. ‘One thing about me? I will pretend everything is fine so well. So well that even mytwin–’ she squeezes my hand back– ‘who knows me better than anyone, can only get a little whiff. And even that’s a lot considering how well I think I hide it. Thing is, Keeks, I’m good at project management. That’s my thing. So I treated this wedding as a project I needed to manage. Even when I felt like the wedding wasn’t mine any more, even when my mum and Kofi’s mum were throwing all these. . . expectationson me, I just focused on everything being right. And I never thought about who it was rightfor?And I love them, I do, but it just felt like nothing belonged to me any more. And then I started thinking–how many things have I done in my life that I’ve done my own way? I mean I love my job, but even that–I’m still working for an agency because my parents said it was safer and they said I’m not ready for the risk of being a freelance consultant, when really–I feel like I am. Can you imagine?Minah Management.I got it registered and everything. And–Keeks, I think I was projecting all of that on you. Not telling you when Malakai was around, trying to protect you and manage the risk. . .First of all, it’s your life and you’re grown and you deserved to have known. And also, selfishly, at the back of my mind, I was thinking that ifIwasn’t ready for a risk, then surely you also weren’t ready for a risk. It’s stupid and I’m sorry and I swear I never thought about it that way at the time. . .I just thought I was protecting you.’

‘You were, Minah. In your own, over-involved, boundary-less way. Let’s be honest, around that time, I’d just got my life together. The podcast was doing well and I’d just started seeing Bakari and. . .seeing Malakai then might have derailed everything. I think I was supposed to be with Bakari to get to where I am now. I’m not saying I’m glad you kept it from me. I definitely would have wanted the choice. Because, sis, that was wild, even for you—’

‘Iknow.I can’t even blame it on bride brain. I’m sorry again—’

‘I know you are. And I’m just saying that. . .I know it was out of love. Like everything you do. Look, I do think what we’re having here is a regular quarter-life crisis, which is totally normal. Remember when Shanti switched from Gel X extensions with detailed nail art to plain red shellac because she thought she had to be a “serious woman”? Doing up “quiet luxury”?’

Aminah nods gravely. ‘Serious quarter-life crisis.’

‘Right. Anyway, my question to you is, do you still want to marry Kofi? If you don’t, that’s OK, but we will have to tell him.’

‘That’s the thing. That’s the only thing I’m sure of in this whole wedding. I want to marry Kofi. I wanna be with him. He’s the best thing in the world. I know I can be a lot to people, but Kofi never makes me feel that. . .the same way you never do. He makes me feel like I am just a lot of Enough. Like, so much of Enough. A sexy surplus! Doesn’t matter how extra or dramatic I am. He makes me feel like I can do anything.’

She straightens suddenly, eyes frantic and wide. ‘Oh God, he thought something must have happened to me. Is he OK?’

‘He’s fine. He was beside himself, but he’s OK now that he knows you’re OK. He’s waiting down the road in the car with Malakai.’

A groan ekes out of her. ‘Oh no. I’ve ruined everyone’s trip—’

I smile and peel off the hand she’s splayed over her face. ‘Get over yourself. We’re in Cape Town, bitch, and we still have two days left. We love you. I love you. And I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you—’

‘I love you too, Keeks. So much. And I’m so sorry I didn’t give you space to talk about Malakai. I never even stopped to think about how you’re handling him being back properly. How’s it going? And most importantly how was last night?’ I can’t help the idiotic smile that crops up on my face, the flutters in my belly. ‘It was. . .incredible. Like the same as it was before, but somehowbetter.’

She smirks. ‘Like absence makes the pussy grow fonder?’

‘Something like that. Uh. Yeah. I think. . .I just wanna try not to get too deep too quickly, you know?’

Understanding warms my best friend’s eyes. ‘I know. You’re strong and smart and capable and will make a decision that’s true to your heartandsmart. Whatever you do, I dey your back. And if you do wanna pursue things with Malakai, it’s not you goingback.I’m sorry I said that.It’s part of your evolution. Both of yours. And, Kiki, Malakai has grown too. I’m sure he has. And let me tell you, my dear, heneverleft the deep with you. It’s impossible to.’

The idea of it forms a lump in my throat. ‘I’m super scared.’

Aminah laughs. ‘Sis. So am I, but we gotta see the difference between self-preservation and cowardice. I think getting the good things in life are always a risk. There’s more at stake, you know? But only you can decide if it’s worth it. I think maybe you have to ask if yourwholeself feels safe with him. All your precious parts. And if you can trust him with them. If you’re free within that space. Love is never not a risk. But if the answers to those questions is “yes” then, to quote something that someone moderately wise with a sexy bum once told me, “You have to try. You have to take that risk.”’

‘She sounds annoying as fuck.’

‘Sometimes. But mostly she’s the best.’

My gaze mists. ‘One quarter-life crisis and you’re a life coach?’