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‘So. . .you saw Aminah?’

Malakai shakes his head. ‘Briefly. As she was leaving the flat. She told me not to bother you if I didn’t plan on staying, if I wasn’t going to be serious. Said she didn’t want me to “disturb your peace”. I mean I fully planned on airing her, but I thought about what she was saying and realised she was half right. The thing is, I was so serious, the most serious, but then I thought about how I would be disturbing your peace, and for what? To say I made a mistake and then go back to America? Stress this whole life you’d built for yourself on a whim? It felt selfish. It killed me, but I left it.’

I try to keep a hold of the conflicting emotions careening through my mind: Malakai being in the same city as me and Aminah knowing; Malakai coming to see me and Aminah telling him not to see me. Why would she do that?

Malakai misinterprets the look on my face, panic skittering across his own. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to see you. I thought it would be OK if you didn’t see me. Like, maybe I wasn’t encroaching on your boundaries—’

I shake my head. ‘It’s not that. I just wonder how different things might have been if I’d have seen you. Where we could have been by now.’

Malakai cradles me to him, and kisses my forehead. ‘It don’t matter. We’re here and we’re here.’

I smile against his chest, kissing it. ‘We’re here and we’re here and I’m glad, but I have to go now before everyone wakes up.’

Malakai tilts his head to the side. ‘Why?’

‘Aminah doesn’t know. And I want to be able to tell her properly. Plus, I don’t want to make this trip about us.’

Malakai looks at me oddly. ‘But what does it matter if people know about this? This isn’t some dumb holiday fling like what Laide has going on with Kofi’s first cousin. Which is really fucking weird by the way.’

‘Soweird, innit? Their kids would be almost double cousins. Some weirdGame of Thronesshit, but, no, I know this is a big deal.’ There’s a slight tightness in my stomach. It isn’t from us but from something external. I want to protect us for as long as possible, build our foundation so we don’t crumble again. It’s probably why I haven’t said ‘I love you’ yet. Wait–why hasn’thesaid ‘I love you’ yet?

‘This is huge. Heavy. Can we take it slow? I’m in this,’ I say. ‘Please know I am so in this. I’m in thissohard.’

Malakai releases a slow grin. ‘So am I.’

I snort and I lift a fist for Malakai to spud me. ‘Congrats, but seriously. I just. . .I want to do it right this time. We were together since uni before, and we went straight into something intense, so quickly. Maybe that’s why we got overwhelmed. We never really dated as adults. I just want to give us our best shot.’

The shadow leaves his face, and he pushes his lips against my shoulder, pushes a smile out. ‘Of course. Whatever you want. On your time.’

I kiss him, drawing him in deep, and it feels like home; it feels like being known.

‘Thanks, Kai. I’ll see you later.’

I peek my head out of the door, swivelling left and right like a bad movie spy, causing Malakai to push out a wry, ‘OK, James Banjo.’

I hiss a hush at him as I step out, careful that my rubber slippers don’t make a noise on the tile. I mentally rehearse my disgusted, ‘Well, if you didn’t lock me out, I wouldn’t have had to stay in the spare room of the boys’ house!’trying to sift through which inflections would be the most convincing. It’s when I think I’ve got away with it that Aminah comes out of Kofi’s room, practically skipping, hair tied up in a similar messy bun to mine, wearing a large T-shirt and basketball shorts. I almost smash right into her. Her smile is wide and satisfied until she clocks me. Then the smile dissolves and her mouth drops open in shock.

I swallow, unsure of what to say. Am I supposed to apologise? For being a grown woman who had mind-blowing sex with someone I’m attracted to? I approach her slowly. ‘Um. Yeah. Malakai and I slept together last night, and I’m really happy about it so don’t freak out because—’

Aminah baulks at this, shock filtering through her features. ‘Why would I freak out? I mean I’m happy if you’re happy, I guess. Even though you did say you weren’t going to, but whatever. You’re grown.’

I’m not sure I like her tone, but I skip past it, push out a breezy smile, like this is normal, like this is like when we were in uni and we used to bump into each other in Kofi and Malakai’s flat, like we were in some awkward polycule.

‘I am. And I don’t have any regrets. Don’t worry. Malakai and I won’t let anything between us mess up your day—’

Aminah blinks several times. ‘What isthatsupposed to mean? Like I’m some freaky tyrant who wants to control your sex life and not a friend who cares that you do not get your heart broken again.’ She folds her arms across her chest, her passive pretence steadily melting with annoyance. ‘I mean I’m just confused. Like, what’s different this time? Have you guys talked it out?’ Her reaction dampens the remaining fizz in my blood from the multiple orgasms.

‘Aminah, it’s like seven in the morning. Can we talk about this later, please?’

Aminah’s brows pop up. ‘Since when do we not talk about a thing like this immediately? I’m sorry, you just slept withMalakai Korede. Why are you so chill about it?’

I roll my tongue in my mouth, because I see that we’re really about to do this now. ‘I dunno. Maybe because my best friend acted like any stress that ensued from me sleeping with him would ruin her wedding—’

‘Oh, so now it’s my fault for not wanting you to get hurt? Well, ring the alarm– shitty friend alert! No, really, Kiki. That’s my bad.’

Our voices echo along the hallway and both Kofi and Malakai appear from their rooms, and make the grave mistake of attempting to interject.

‘Kofi, stay out of this—’