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Keeks

Good. Confused.

Kai

I’ve had it too.

There’s a break within which my breath is suspended, my heart hammers, then:

Kai

Goodnight, Scotch. Sleep well, yeah?

Hope lands on reality with a thud.

I hear him loud and clear: sometimes dreams are just dreams. Not a hope making itself known or a desire telling you that it’s in your grasp. Just a silly, insolent, naïve want to keep, a plaything that would crumble once it hits reality, buckling under the weight of history.

Chapter 16

Winking, Smiling and Wanna Attack Man

‘OK, I know I said bachelorette merch was tacky, but, can’t lie, baby tees that say “Aminah’s Angels”?Actuallyincredible. I feel like I’m on my own world tour.’ Aminah gestures to my chest, emblazoned with her name in lilac like it’s a superhero crest, while perching herself on the wide marble island of Taré’s glorious sprawling villa.

I snort as I measure out some crème de violette, lime juice and tequila into an ice-filled jug for the special-edition margaritas I’m making for the group–purple for Aminah’s favourite colour. They promise to be suitably vile.

‘Yeah?’ I say. ‘What would your tour be called?’

Without missing a beat, my best friend replies with, ‘Minah Money Moves.’ She reclines on the ball of her palm, kicking her legs in her white mini bandeau dress and sipping a violet drink from the previous jug I made. The light pours in from the tall, wide bifold doors that lead to the back garden. A bright azure pool reflects the sun back to the sky, and early noughties female R&B pumps through the speakers as sunlight streams in, the combination of everything recharging us, and prepping us for Day 2 of the beach festival.

Taré looked appalled when I double-checked that she was still OK with us staying in one of the villas she rented out, saying with some disgust, ‘Must youkeepdisrespecting. Of course you have to still go. Don’t be annoying.’

For my part, I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity to switch off from everything work and ex-man related and Aminah was over the moon to find that her bachelorette wasn’t compromised. Due to her only direction to me being ‘Soft life, hard liquor’, she seems satisfied with the result. The house really is stunning, and with ocean views and a modern luxe décor of cream and pastels, it’s finely tuned to Aminah’s specific tastes. Her eyes survey the location with awe, and she sighs, sipping the pastel-hued liquid out of a metal straw.

‘This is heaven. You’ve outdone yourself, Keeks.’

I do a little bow. ‘Well, the best for the best, innit.’

Shanti eyes us knowingly, watching us carefully for discord. Although Chioma, with her peace, love, kombucha and hemp vibe, might be the best person on paper to detect and mediate drama, Shanti is truly the one equipped to be on Beef Watch. She doesn’t mince words, has a sharp eye and is the one who comes into my room, later on, while I’m unpacking, to lean against the doorframe and enquire, with folded arms and a raised brow: ‘So are you and Aminah gonna be weird this entire trip? Because I truly don’t have time for this shit. I paid to spend time with my best friends, and you guys being overly nice to each other is basically wasting my money.’

I fold a T-shirt into the wardrobe, managing to look confused. ‘First of all, you paid to come to one of your oldest friends’ bachelorettes.’

‘I mean I guess.’ She flips her wavy ombre hair over her shoulders before walking in and sitting on the bed, cute in the lilac minidress she’s already changed into for tonight.

‘Secondly–’ I bring out a pair of heels from my suitcase–‘Aminah and I are always nice to each other. What are you talking about?’

Shanti blinks. ‘Really, Kiki? It’s so boring when you do this. Aminah might have the time for this, but I don’t. I’m talking about what happened last week. I’m talking about Aminah blasting your business in front of your boss. I’m talking about the fact that you guys have been acting like a couple on the brink trying to make things work for the kids for the past fortnight and it’s driving me and Chioma mad. You know I’ll choose Aminah in the divorce because she has more work perks. Fuck am I gonna do with tickets to an intimate acoustic show of some obscure soul artist? No offence, love you, mean it.’

Ignoring the fact that we were currently in a work perk of mine, I sigh and shut the door to my room, sitting next to her on the king-sized bed. I’d been repressing what happened at the video shoot because I had to, in order to not lose my mind. Not only have I been finalising the plans of the bachelorette we’re currently on, I’ve been in talks with Meji and my parents, exploring the buyout, working on the last parts ofPhoenixand avoiding Malakai whilst working onPhoenix. Meji had told me that Malakai hadn’t wanted me to know that I told him about the plans for the restaurant, and while I wanted to respect that, it was also torturous. It’s definitely the best thing anyone has ever done for me, and also the most jarring, because it’s by someone who doesn’t want me close. How do you thank someone who wants you to leave them alone? Who would rather leave a country a second time than talk to you? With all these easy, breezy situations, I didn’t have time to go through the fact that Aminah had very nearly jeopardised my job, and very much did embarrass me in front of Taré.

‘Look, am I still kind of annoyed about what happened at the shoot? A little, but it’s not worth bringing it up. I should have told Taré in the first place. Plus Aminah’s stressed about the wedding and there’s just too much going on to not let it go. We’ll be fine.’

Shanti crosses her legs and lays down flat on my bed with a soft thud. ‘Well, you better be. Because when she finds out you and Malakai have been sneaky linking and you didn’t tell her, she’s gonna lose her mind, and I don’t have time for that.’

I hold still. ‘What did you just say to me?’

Shanti sits back up and eyes me incredulously. ‘Are you joking, Keeks? Please. In fact, the only reason Aminah hasn’t seen you guys be all googly eyes and giggly with each other is because she’s got an insane case of Nigerian Bride Brain. Just, you know, a general extra dollop of self-involvement. Which is understandable considering her mother has invited approximately five hundred people, but yeah, come on. The picture from that party? How you were acting with each other at the shoot? The real question is, why do you think we’re dumb? You and Malakai are notoriously bad at hiding your feelings from each other, like, historically so.’

‘Um,’ I say, when I manage to collect my thoughts, and recover from the shock of information, ‘it isn’t aboutfeelings.’ I’m oddly shy, having been stripped bare so easily like this. Gone goes the illusion that I’m a sexy enigma. ‘We just like,you know. . .’