Page 47
Story: Sizzle Reel
He seems so happy, and I guess even this gig at Howlin’ Ray’s has its glamor.
And yeah, it’s a little fun to watch his brows come together as he stares at Valeria.
“This is my friend Valeria,” I say.
Valeria doesn’t flinch at the word friend. But saying it sends a bolt of nerves digging into my stomach, even after the moment ends.
They shake hands.
“You look so familiar,” he says.
Valeria exchanges a knowing glance with me and shrugs at Will. “I get that a lot.”
He slides several sheets of paper toward us. “So legally I gotta have you guys sign some release forms.”
Valeria scans them, losing just a touch of color in her face. “Cool…”
Once everything is signed, he swipes the waivers away and hands us a case of drinks.
“Wear the gloves,” he says.
Right. They make you wear surgical gloves to hold the howlin’ wings since the rub is made with Carolina Reaper extract.
I reach for my credit card, but Valeria’s already got hers slapped down before I have the chance. I can’t read lips, but I would bet she’s saying Don’t Venmo me.
We end up driving to nearby Grand Park, where we spread the wings across a picnic table. I can’t think of anything that’s been filmed here. It’s mostly just a low-key spot of green amid the concrete of D.T.L.A. Calm, cooler than anywhere else in the surrounding area, and not crowded enough for us to draw attention with my camera and Valeria’s exposed face. She inspects the to-go container full of surgical gloves with a mix of confusion and fear.
“We’re not starting at the gloves,” I say as I set up two little plates with the various wings. I leave the handle-with-gloves wings in their container for when the time comes.
We got medium, medium plus, hot, and howlin’, with one “country”/nonspiced sandwich to pick off for carbo-loading. Call it a combination of watching YouTubers do hot pepper challenges and a general interest of my own, but I feel pretty at ease doing this. I have a higher spice tolerance than most (mountains above most white people, anyway) from a couple of eat this ghost chili and I’ll give you $300 challenges in college. Still, this’ll be painful. But it’s fine.
“So no one’s gonna see this. Just do what you gotta do—take breaks, cry, eat carbs, whatever. I’ve got questions written and everything,” I say. “Should be fun.”
Valeria glances from the wings back to me. “You’re doing this too, right?”
I nod. I’ve got my phone hooked up to my tripod, so I should be able to move the camera and zoom in as needed while sitting across from her. With my first A.C. experience still fresh, I pretty much know my adjustments based on distance and one or two checks. I mic her up and we’re good to go.
“Rolling,” I say, and we start. “So there’s water and an ice-cream cart”—I motion to a tiny cart boasting highly-processed ice-cream-truck ice cream a few yards from us—“if it hurts too much. And you’re free to tap out, but remember that on Hot Ones you’ll be judged for it harshly.”
“Okay,” Valeria says. She takes a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”
We each pick up a medium wing. “So this one’s got mostly cayenne pepper.” Will explained all this when I asked for the favor. “With a hint of ghost pepper.”
She sniffs the wing. “What is a ghost pepper exactly?” she asks.
“It’s just a famous hot pepper.” I figure we can get into that when we get to the hot wing. “Cayenne, though, is something like forty thousand average on the Scoville scale.”
She blinks at me. She’s clearly not much of a spice aficionado.
“Five times as hot as a jalapeño but less hot than a habanero,” I clarify.
She gives a little shrug and bites into the wing. I do the same. It’s definitely hot and gives a slight kick to the back of the throat, but it’s nothing outrageous. In fact, I’ll hold off on the water. It’s actually rather enjoyable. Valeria reaches for the water but doesn’t seem too disturbed.
“You seem to have a vast knowledge of hot peppers,” Valeria comments. “I learn something new about you every day.”
I smile. “I’m supposed to be the one asking the questions.”
I have four of them, sort of modeled off what the show would do. Needless to say, I did a lot of research last night. “I know you said in the press tour for Stroke that you were originally made aware of the project because of your background in pop culture academia. Did they actually use you as a consultant when you were cast?”
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