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Romy runs her hands over her face. “Wyatt. Please never call trying to figure out if someone’s queer a ‘gay mystery.’ ”

“I can give you my filing system,” I say. “Alice loved it, and I know Steven’s also a mess.”

“Do not give ‘gay mystery’ boy your organizational secrets,” Romy says.

I cross my arms. “And how could Valeria’s manager not know whether or not she’s gay?”

Wyatt shrugs. “I barely know she’s single. She used to date Charlie Durst, but Valeria mentioned he was her buddy last time he came up.” Even though I trust that Wyatt’s information is pretty reliable, I cringe hearing about Charlie Durst. He hasn’t filmed his part yet, and I mentally note to pay attention to the vibe between him and Valeria when he does. “Beyond that, Steven doesn’t tell me much. I think he and Valeria text, but I can’t see his personal phone. And yeah, can I see that system?”

Shit. That actually checks out.

I rub my forearms. It’s not getting much colder, but I’m still shivering. “Yeah, sure.”

“So what next?” Wyatt asks.

I look to Romy. She shrugs. “Luna here will have to do some observing. See if Valeria likes rainbows, how she reacts to men, stuff like that.”

I exhale. “Is it really this hard to date women?”

“When they’re A-list actors, yes.” Romy pats my hand and goes off to the next cage. “Change your dating app preferences.”

I sigh, open up Hinge, change my preferences, and return my phone to a flashlight. I’m still focused on Valeria, but nothing that’ll make me feel more accomplished in my bi self will hurt, right?

Unfamous girls/enbies/non-men are people too. The goal is to make Valeria feel like a unfamous person.

I catch Romy illuminated in the moonlight, mid-climb up a cage wall. Her arms are spread out as if she owns the open air and the blinking blanket of city lights below us.

Yeah, unfamous people are pretty great too.

chapter eleven

When I came out to myself, I gotta say, I thought I’d just develop an inherent gaydar. I mean, isn’t it some kind of survival skill for queer people? Apparently not, because my observations over four days on set as I bust my ass being the best clapper in history are:

Brendan and Valeria are standing in front of a display of ice cream at a local parlor. The flavor choices encompass a full range of color, including a rainbow sherbet. They’re trying to decide if having a quick pan P.O.V. shot with the rainbow sherbet in frame would work. Brendan asks Valeria if it’d be too obtuse. Her exact response: “Ugh, you’re right. I have a photo like that on my defunct MySpace.”

Some male crew member is suggesting an edit to a piece of dialogue for an off-color joke some nothing character says. The joke is something along the lines of “I knew a girl so ugly that she fell asleep at a frat party and she woke up with more clothes on.” Valeria literally gives a fake smile and walks away.

Valeria is equally as touchy-feely with Charlie Durst as she is with Mason Wu (an open lesbian). With that said, her affection for Charlie Durst seems limited to constantly flipping him off, whereas Mason Wu sits in Valeria’s lap (God, I wish that were me) whenever they watch dailies together.

Valeria is deciding how to sit in a chair for a scene at a house, ends up doing the one leg thrown over the armrest look, and Brendan, who has now mentioned his boyfriend twice, yells, “That’s so gay, Valeria!” She laughs.