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“She’s beautiful, Demyan.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “She’s overpainted, overdressed, annoying, and a shadow compared to you.”

I blink rapidly, eyes hot and blurring.

I think I get it. Here, this close, I can see the frustrations in him. But I don’t have an answer either.

“Erin, I’ll be patient. I want you. And right now, I want to kiss you, seduce you, remind you of how much more exciting it is with you now that I know the things that make you tic. How you like it hard and fast. How you like it slow.” He leans in, mouth against my ear. “How you loved it when I fucked your ass and how I want to spend an entire day and night away from Sasha and this house, and just be naked with you and the only times we get out of bed is for room service, for sex in the shower, on the floor, on the sofa…”

I laugh, I can’t help it. “Maybe I was just humoring you.”

“Then I’ll fuck you until I get it right.” He traces a line along my cheek. “ButLyubimaya, even though you’re the one I want, I’ll give you space, okay?”

I suck in a breath. “Thanks for being patient, Demyan.And thank you for waiting. I do want you. I’m sitting here, thinking how turned on I am, but I can’t. I need time. I need to wrap my head around everything.”

Demyan takes my hand and links our fingers. “Look at me, Erin.”

I raise my eyes, meeting his.

And he gazes at me, dead in the eye, so I can see his heart and soul there. “Understand, there’s only one woman I’ve ever wanted like I want you, Erin. And that’s you. No one’s come close. No one’s gotten close. You’re it.”

I nod. “That’s what makes it so fucking hard. I get it. I understand you didn’t have a choice when you agreed to this marriage with Stefina. That you did it for me. But God, it hurts sitting here, being looked at like a walking womb by her.”

“Fuck that, you’re not and you know it.”

“But I can’t help wondering if the man I love is going to be forced to go through with this wedding and what then? What happens to me and Sasha? I won’t be the piece on the side and I won’t live here, either. Obviously, you’ll see him, but he’s not going away, and he’s not going to be left alone with her, so what will we do?”

“Hey, slow down.”

“I can’t help thinking this. Because what if you can’t get out of this? You can’t start a war, Demyan.”

He sighs and leans his head against mine for a moment before sitting up and lifting the glass he’s holding on his knee. “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“What if that’s not enough?” I whisper, tears welling in my eyes. “What if it does happen?”

Demyan swallows down the drink, but he doesn’t have an answer for me.

And it breaks my heart all over again.

Chapter Twelve

DEMYAN

Another morning,another fucking visit from Stefina who, I think, is deliberately failing to get the memo I don’t want a daily visit from her. It’s been nonstop.

Today was the tediousness about the cakes. She’s narrowed it down to ten and had the baker come with her, complete with samples of mini cakes that were decorated, as well as the samples of the cakes to try to work out which one.

Like I care about wedding cake.

Maybe, perhaps, if it was for me and Erin, but I can’t quite see Erin going to such trouble.

There’s a moment of stillness in me. I don’t give a shit about this crap, but with her, I’d like to have something she wants. Erin doesn’t strike me as that kind of girl. She doesn’t seem like the type to fuss over the perfect flavor combination, like salted caramel and dark chocolate or coconut and cream. Or…

What the hell would Erin want and why do I get the feeling it’s something she hasn’t thought about? Worse, it’s something she doesn’t think she deserves.

I’m not exactly sure where the thought comes from, butmaybe because I’ve never seen Erin go out of her way to glam it up, and she’s never asked me for a thing.

Now I go still.