Page 48

“Make that a lot of green. What’s up?”

I look at Alina and then at Sasha, who’s wearing half his meal. “This whole thing just…”

“Upsets you?”

I nod.

At least talking about Demyan’s fake marriage or otherwise is something on my mind, so I’m not lying. And I like Alina. I want us to be friends. It’s just… I’m so lost and angry and heartbroken and scared.

She touches Sasha’s cheek and he laughs, shoving more pancake into his mouth.

“You know, hard as it might seem to see, Demyan wants to be with you. I’ve never seen him happier than he is with you. And Sasha’s part of it, but even without him, he’d want you. What he doesn’t want is Stefina. It’s you.”

“Then why?—”

“Our world’s complicated. Demyan’s just struggling with the whole of the bratva on his shoulders. He’s worked hard to build it into something better than Dad had. Made it new, modern. But he must adhere to the old rules. They don’t go away. And things like this… They’re part of it.”

“He knew what he had to do to save you and he did it. But he’s working on a way to get out of this marriage. And he wants to do it without starting a war.”

I look at her. “What if he can’t?”

“It’s Demyan. I believe in him.”

Thing is, I want to believe in him too. And if it was just awoman hanging around, I would, but it’s complicated and I get the feeling he made a horrible deal with the devil to save me.

Which makes me feel like the worst person for being so upset and angry.

“What if he can’t? And what… what if he finds he likes her more?”

Alina laughs. “Stefina?” She shakes her head. “No. Look, I feel for her, a little. I don’t like her, but her father owns her life. He made her who she is, and this is probably something she sees as freedom. And a step up. But she doesn’t like him any more than he likes her. Didn’t I already say that?”

I let out a shuddering breath. “I’m just…”

“Y’know, I’d rather you for a sister-in-law than her any day. Even if this deal wasn’t around and you and Demyan weren’t all in love, I’d want you both to be. Team Erin, that’s me.”

“Team Sasha,” says Sasha, beaming.

And my heart melts as Alina kisses him.

I’m glad I have her in my corner. And I love the bond we’re forming. It means so much, especially when she gets along so well with Kara. My dream team of female power.

Alina offers me a bite of her waffles, and my stomach protests violently. I don’t even speak as I shake my head, hand to mouth as I rush off again to the bathrooms to throw up again.

There’s not much in my stomach and I rinse my mouth of the bitter bile, swirling the water and spitting and repeating until the sweetness of the water feels just like water. My legs wobble as I make my way back to the table.

“Sorry. Maybe I ate something?—”

Alina holds up a hand and points a fork at me. “Are you pregnant?” Words don’t come and she narrows her eyes, poking the bare fork at me again. “Are you?”

“Please don’t tell Demyan.”

“Shit, he doesn’t know? You can’t keep it from him.”

“I know,” I whisper. “I’m going to tell him, soon. But if it comes from someone else, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

“Demyan’s got a temper, and he’s hurt over Sasha even though that’s no one’s fault, but he won’t do anything to you.”

His locking me up hangs heavily between us. “He did before.”