Page 33

Okay, so she’s still pissed off about the whole wedding thing, as in deeply to the bone pissed off.

I thought it might just be surface, something she wasn’tsure how to handle, something she knew, once she got her head around it, that I would.

Then again, her dig earlier should have told me how deep her anger might go.

Fuck everything.

But I keep my face unemotional. “The hospital will inform us when Ilya wakes.” I scoop up Sasha.

“No. I want Mama.”

He’s had his damn mother all fucking night and day. I’ll carry him to the car. Besides, this is the fucking hospital that Niko’s thugs broke into. I’ve got it secure. Added my own security all over the place and getting in is beyond difficult. Deliveries are left with security. All visitors double- and sometimes triple-checked and vetted.

But no one’s after Ilya. It’s Erin and my son I worry about, so if someone gets in, I’m holding my son and she can stay right by my side.

“Get your things,” I say to Erin, ignoring the two-year-old’s protests. He’s two. She’s here. He isn’t getting his way in everything. And it’s just until we get to the car. He writhes, but I tighten my hold on him so he doesn’t get free and fall.

“I’m going to take Sasha to lunch.”

My schedule is backed up today and this is making it worse, but I need to show her I care. I need… I need to make sure she’s okay.

“So we’ll all go.”

Her jaw sets. “Alone.”

“Get your things,” I say. “We’re going home.”

“If I can’t go to lunch, then I’ll stay here.”

“No—”

“I’m quite happy to stay with Ilya,” she says stiffly as I move Sasha to one hip.

“He’s unconscious, so he’ll be here when we come in for a visit tomorrow.”

“This is my fault.”

I frown. “What is?”

Her gaze flickers to me. “Ilya getting shot. Ilya here. I’m the reason for all of this.”

“Erin.Lyubimaya.” I take her hand. “You’re not responsible. At all. They were coming for you and he was going to get in front of a bullet to protect you. The only difference with you trying to sneak off is he got shot in the stairwell rather than your room. You got that?”

“Demyan, I…”

She sighs.

Then she gets up and follows me out of the hospital room.

“Mama.”I hand Sasha to her when we reached the car and the kid just snuggled right in as though he’d just been kept from her for months.

She straps him into his car seat and hands him the mangy goat which he cuddles. His eyes close and she kisses his cheek, climbing in next to him.

I wanted to put him in my personal car, but instead, I have Pavel drive that back and I climb into the SUV opposite her, looking at my son because I need to calm the wild thoughts in my head.

I need to settle the savage need to order her to bend to my will. It’s like Sasha, I guess. Patience, love, and all the things I’m not gifted in. That’s what I need to find in me to win her over.

A small child is easy, and his understanding of the world isn’t in nuance. Black-and-white. Right and wrong. Love and hate. Trust and fear. And to him, Mama is safety and love and home. I’m getting that way because I don’t hurt him, Ifeed him, and I saved him and brought his mama back to him.