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She looks so happy that I can’t resist. I kiss Sasha, who’s asking about the turtles and if he can have one. He’s so into trying to get Olga to give him a turtle I don’t think he notices the girls drag me out the door.

The girls are right. I’m in Aruba. I should have fun with them. “Where are we going, the pool?”

“Hell no, this place has a private beach and cabanas. We’re going there.”

The beach is so gorgeous that I know I need to have fun, but I keep fretting about Sasha.

“Relax, mama bear,” Kara says. “Our boy’s fine. We’ve got a private bar just up behind us, deck chairs, swimming, shade, soft, soft sand, clear water, and sun. Plus, all the mocktails your pregnant ass can stand.”

“Here.”

Alina thrusts her phone at me and Olga’s looking stunning in a bathing suit, and a floatie-clad Sasha’s splashing in a pool with other kids. I’m guessing the parent of the kid he’s with took the pic.

I start to relax as I rub sunscreen on and the beach fills up. “This is private?”

“You should see the public ones.” Alina laughs as she lies down on a deck chair.

The air’s electric and it’s like I’m in a sea of models. I want to send Demyan a photo and I go to take a selfie so I can text him with a missing you message, but my phone’s snatched away.

“No phones.” Alina drops the phone into my bag.

“I just want to text him I miss him.”

“No phones,” shouts Kara.

“Fine.”

I relax and let the sun warm me. When it gets too hot, we go for a swim and the sea’s incredible, the fish, everything. There are turtles, but apparently, we have to come in the morning to see those.

Some people snorkel but we just splash around, no different to Sasha, really. Another pang hits me, different to the one for Demyan.

But if I even think of getting out the phone, they might just throw it in the ocean. Besides, I trust Olga and that photo was everything. My boy looked so happy.

I hope that we all get to go away as a family. I’d never ever ask Demyan to quit his world as I don’t think it’s a job, it’s a lifestyle, but I hope he’ll take time for us.

I remember when we met, how serious he was at that bar, and how intense in the room. I’ll keep intense. I adore intense Demyan. But I love soft Demyan, too. The secret Demyan that loves and hurts and laughs. My Demyan.

Maybe it’s my job to make him take moments to?—

Water smacks me in the face. I sputter and Kara shakes her head. “Stop drooling over your man hunk. You have a lifetime to do that. This is for us.”

“You know what I need?” Alina says. “I need a stiff drink.”

“So do I. Seltzer. Straight up.” And I laugh.

“Fuck your seltzer, I’m having a gin.” And Kara wades out of the water, the soft waves lapping.

We sit and let the sun dry us, and the girls discuss tonight. “There is a strip show.”

“Kara, I don’t need to be Magic Miked.”

“Plus,” Alina adds, “Demyan might break legs.”

“Not ours?”

“No, Kara,” she says. “Those poor, hot men.”

“Dancing.” Kara slaps down her little guide pamphlet she must have taken from the hotel. “There’s a nightclub that could be fun. And it also has a pool.”