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Yes, I kept her from him at the beginning, but that’s something I learned doesn’t work. He loves her in a way that can’t be broken.

This, him asleep, happy, knowing he’s safe on an intrinsic level, is because she’s with him.

But Erin and me? If it was sex and attraction, if it was searing hot passion, that’s something I can do. We have that chemistry. She wants more. And… And I’m not good at the more.

I guess I can try.

“It’s sweet.”

“What is?” she asks.

“How Sasha wants to be around you so much.”

She shrugs. “I’m all he had for so long, and he just had a big scare.”

“No,” I say. “It’s more than that. Your bond with him is amazing. He loves you with every fiber of his being.”

Erin smiles at me, and it’s genuine. It’s guarded, but real. “Demyan if… if you don’t think he cares for you, you’re wrong. He loves you just as much. And the more time you spend with him, the deeper the connection with Sasha will become.”

I release a shaky breath. “I hope so.” I run a hand over my face and lean forward. “I love him.”

“Anyone can see that. Your love for him isn’t the problem.”

“Fuck, Erin, I just feel so guilty about missing so much of his life. Even though I’m not to blame.”

She isn’t, either. I don’t think. Or maybe she is. She could have tried harder, ignored the warnings of her brother and let me know. What would she have done if I’d given her my real name or left that at the front desk? Would she have— Butwhat’s done is done and dwelling on it isn’t going to change it now.

Erin’s hands curl in her lap and something dark passes in her eyes. “He loves you. He’s a very loving little boy and you’re making such an impact in his life. I-I can’t undo the past. I just wonder what future there is for us to look to, Demyan.”

“He’s my son.” The words rip from me.

She shakes her head. “And you’ll be part of his life. I meant us.”

“There’s an us.”

My phone buzzes and I pull it out. Stefina’s name flashes. I go to shut it off as a text pops up and Erin reaches for the phone.

“I want to see what the other member of the us team has to say,” she says sarcastically. “You know. Your future wife.”

She takes the phone and as much as I want to stop her, that’d be worse. She looks at the text on the screen.

“Can’t wait ’til this wedding is official.” Her gaze flicks to me. “That’s your vacuous bride, not me.” She goes on. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the wedding night, Demyan. I’ve heard the rumors of your talents in bed and how you know your way around a woman’s body…”

Erin thrusts the phone back at me. “Dot, dot, dot. Nice little lead-in, isn’t it? Are you looking forward to it, too?”

Fuck. I shove the offending phone in my pocket.

“Erin, there’s not going to be a wedding night.”

“Maybe you can give her a freebie.”

“Enough,” I snap. “There won’t be anything at all, no sex, no wedding night, no wedding. At least with me and Stefina.”

But she looks at our son and touches his chubby little cheek, then she just nods and looks out the window.

“Erin?”

She doesn’t answer.