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Oh, she likes Demyan for his money and looks, but she could swap him with someone else and be planning that wedding with the same level of devotion.

I stand to the side, listening. She sounds bored he sounds…

Like Demyan.

But a Demyan, I don’t know. He can be hard to read at times, anyway, but now? He could be a stranger and one who does nothing but mirror back.

And this beautiful creature with him? She’s the epitome of every girl I avoided in high school and probably as cruel.

The girl who gets everything and everyone.

Like now.

There’s no comparison between the two of us. None at all. Next to her I’m dust. A mouse.

“And one who’s feeling sorry for herself.”

I straighten up. Magda’s right. I shouldn’t sit around here while they plan their, quite frankly, repulsive-sounding and tacky wedding.

Pulling out my phone, I move to the kitchen to whereOlga and Magda are just outside with Sasha, who’s on his new swing set. His little face lights up as he sees me.

“Watch me, Mama!”

I grin, push open the door, and step out. I call Kara.

“Girl, this better be a full-ass, five-star apology.”

“Something like that,” I say. I bite my lip. “I’ve been a bad friend, I know. So much has been happening but… do you want to meet me and Sasha for lunch?”

“My favorite godson? You bet!”

We arrange a place and I wave Magda over. “I’m going out.”

“Da.” She squeezes my shoulder. “I will arrange a car.”

As much as I want to just go, Demyan would kill me. That’s if he noticed. But that isn’t fair. He’d notice. He notices everything around here. And I’d be in trouble.

That isn’t fair either. But I get my bag, put on lipstick, and knock on the door to the living room.

Stefina huffs out irritation, and Demyan frowns, coming to the door. “Is something wrong?”

I flicker a glance past him. “There’s definitely something wrong, but not in the way you mean. I’m going out.”

“No—”

“Don’t tell me no, or I’ll cause a scene.”

He blinks twice. I don’t say things like that, I never do. But I’m on the edge of a precipice. The man doesn’t want that scene and he’s confident I’m not going to do a runner. And even if I wanted to, he’ll have enough eyes on me to stop that happening.

Imagine if he knew I was knocked up.

A shiver rides down my spine. I still haven’t told him and right now I don’t want to, so I leave it at that.

“Lyubimaya,” he says, “Erin, you need to rest?—”

“I can’t rest while this is going on. You do you, Demyan. I’ll see you when I get back.”

His eyes narrow. “Erin…”