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Instead of feeling sadness, I suddenly felt anger. I had proved myself to be better than this. I had proved that I had earned a place beside him in meetings after doing everything he had asked of me, from the small to the impossible. Or was it simply because he was sleeping with me? Maybe I wasn’t as good at this job as I had thought. He was just bringing me along, so he could have access to me whenever he wanted. And I ate it all up. Because I had wanted access tohim.I had let my infatuation get the better of my judgment. I felt like a damn fool.
I grabbed my purse from my desk and stood suddenly. I had to get out of there, and with this ridiculous list, I had an excuse to. I didn’t bother to look through his office window as I passed down the hallway. I avoided Kathy’s questioning gaze as I stepped into the elevator and rode down to the lobby, and out into the biting cold.
The following days were more of the same. Braving the cold to-do tasks that I was sure he was making up. I wondered how he could come up with countless ways to keep me out of the office. It must take great effort. All of that just to keep me away.
I kept searching his emails for some note of kindness or the adoration he had once shown me, but it had all been sharp. To the point. Businesslike. The flirty texts he used to send had stopped and there were no more invitations back to his place after work. I found my nights to be brutally lonely after I had spent so many with him, warm in his arms after ravaging each other.
As I headed to the dry cleaner for the fifth time that week, braving the cold wind that blew against my black peacoat, I was relieved to know this was my last errand for the day. Then it was the weekend and I didn’t have to worry about seeing him, even though part of me knew I would miss him. Still, being away from him had to be better than enduring the cold few minutes I saw of him each day.
As I waited in line at the dry cleaner, my phone buzzed in the pocket of my coat. I pulled it out and saw a text.
Heart:Happy hour tonight?
Me:Please.
Heart:Nobu?
Me:I can meet you there at 6.
Heart:See you then!
I smiled as I slid my phone back in my pocket. At least I had a night with my best friend to look forward to. I hadn’t told her what was going on with Troy. I thought it was because I felt like such a fool to get wrapped up in him, just like every other personal assistant before me, if the rumors were true. Had I just been a diversion from him? And now that he had had his fun, he was bored of me?
It didn’t make sense, not after the night at his place when he was practically begging me to stay in bed with him. Maybe I should have.
Still, if I were just like the rest of them, then why was I the first person he had brought to the beach house? Erica had told me so. And she was another reason that this didn’t make sense. We had hit it off so well, and Troy seemed elated by it. She and I texted nearly every day, whether about new book releases or remembering blurry memories from the Bahamas. I didn’t bring up what was going on with Troy because I didn’t want to overstep in this new friendship.
After I dropped off Troy’s freshly cleaned suits with the front desk attendant at his building, I couldn’t help but feel like a foreigner in a building I had come to know so well. I glanced around quickly before swiftly exiting the building, feeling like the walls were closing in on me. All I wanted was to go upstairs and find my way back into his arms. I wondered if he was even up there. He had been leaving work early each day.
Outside, I gasped in a freezing cold breath and hailed a cab. I didn’t want to risk running into him when my emotions were at an all-time high. I didn’t want to look like more of a fool than I probably already did.
I arrived at Nobu twenty minutes later. It was a few minutes until 6 p.m. I walked into the warmth of the restaurant and was met by the dim golden lighting and the quiet murmur of other diners. I spotted Heart sitting at a cozy booth by the bar.
“Well, well, well. I was starting to forget what you looked like,” she said, standing up and pulling me in for a hug.
I hadn’t realized how long it had been since we had last seen each other. It was when we enjoyed wine and bacon cheeseburgers at The Tavern, when I told her all about my predicament with Troy being my boss. Since then, we had texted and I gave her bits and pieces of what was going on, but other than that, I had been so consumed by spending every minute with Troy. I suddenly felt guilty for practically disappearing off the face of the planet.
“I’m sorry,” I said, giving her arms a gentle squeeze as I looked her in the eye. I wanted her to know I was sincere.
“Oh, stop. I’m just giving you a hard time. I know you’ve been…busy.”She wiggled her eyebrows.
I laughed softly and pulled off my coat before sliding into the booth next to her. We ordered a bottle of wine and some appetizers, enjoying small talk about baby Bridgette and Daniel. Then the wine came and the red warmth felt like it soothed all the thoughts in my brain. I welcomed its relief.
“So, how’s it going with Mr. Billionaire boss? Hey, that’s a book title right there,” said Heart.
I sighed.
“Uh-oh,” she said, eyeing me worriedly.
“I don’t know what happened,” I answered. “We got back from the Bahamas and—”
“TheBahamas?” she asked in surprise.
I realized I hadn’t talked to her since I got back.
“We went last weekend. It was kind of spontaneous. He invited me on Friday morning, and a few hours later, we were there.”
“Ugh. I’m jealous. You got to escape this bitter winter,” she said.