Page 127

Worst of all, I had put our baby in danger when I had left with Veronica this morning. If I had known I was pregnant, I would never have gone anywhere with her. I would have been smarter, asked more questions, called for help. Instead, I followed her blindly, straight into the lion’s den where all three of us had almost lost our lives. I let out a quiet sob as I clutched the photo to my heart, my guilt pouring out of me.
Even though the doctor has assured me that the baby was fine after doing an ultrasound and the various measurements and heartbeat tests, I still felt like I had already failed as a mother.
A mother.
Something I had never thought I would be, though I had hoped when I was younger that I would marry someone out of college, get married, and start a family. When my life didn’t turn out like that, not even close, I began writing romance as a way to cope. A way to escape. When my first book took off, my dream of starting a family took a backseat, and I hadn’t thought of it much since. But now…it seemed like my dream was coming true. I just didn’t know if I was ready. If Troy was ready. As I put my hand on my belly, I realized we didn’t have much of a choice now.
There was a soft knock at the door. I wiped my tears away just as the door opened and Troy walked through the door. I quickly slipped the ultrasound photo behind me, underneath a pillow. I knew I had to tell him, but I didn’t know how. I had hardly processed it myself. It felt like the ultrasound photo was screaming behind me, making it hard to think as he walked toward me cautiously, as if I were made of glass.
“Monica,” he said softly, as if asking if I wanted him there.
I burst into tears just at the sight of worry on his face.
He rushed toward me and wrapped his arms around me.
“I was so scared,” he murmured in my hair. “What the hell was taking so long?”
“Just a lot of tests…” I said.
And one life-changing one.
He pulled away and looked me over, as if he was inspecting me.
“I’m okay,” I assured him.
It was him whose eyes were welling with tears now as he nodded. I reached both hands over and held his cheeks, pulling his face toward mine. I looked from his forest green eyes down to the bow of his lips, realizing how badly I needed to kiss him. To get lost in him. He obliged to my silent need and pressed his lips against mine roughly. Passionately. A salty tear ran down my cheek as I realized how close I had been to losing him, to losing everything. He pulled away and wiped my tear away from my cheek.
“I thought I had lost you…” I whispered.
“Why would you ever think you would lose me?” he asked softly.
I went on to explain how Veronica had showed up at the office and the lie she had woven to get me to leave with her. She had been so convincing that I hadn’t stopped to think, or to call him, or the police. I just knew I had to get to him. It wasn’t until we were speeding down the interstate that I realized I had been conned.
“We will never have to deal with her again,” he said. It was the second time he was assuring me she was out of our lives, and I wanted to believe him, but I also knew what she was capable of. What people with money were capable of, especially crazed ones.
“I’ll make sure of it,” said Troy, as if sensing my doubts. It wasn’t that I doubted him, or even blamed him. It had just been one hellish day, and now that I knew I had a baby to protect, my guard was up. I knew I had to tell him that he didn’t only have me to protect.
The words sat heavy in my chest as I repositioned myself on the bed, wincing as I moved.
“Are you okay?” asked Troy, worry in his voice, as his eyes seemed to find every yellowish bruise that peeked out of the blue hospital gown.
“I’m fine. Just a little banged up.”
“God, I’ll never forgive myself. Ever.”
I squeezed his hand. “Troy, I’m fine. Please.”
“You could have died.”
“I didn’t.”
“You have a concussion!” He raked his hand through his hair frustratedly.
“I’m fine. The doctor is just keeping me overnight for evaluation and then I’m sure I’ll be fine to go home.”
“Overnight?” He put his head in his hands.
“Troy,” I said as firmly as I could, as I watched the guilt eat away at him. “I’m pregnant.”