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“I…of course.”
He said nothing else, but I swore in that moment, I could feel those three unspoken words hovering between us.
Soon, I told myself. I would tell him that I loved him soon.
Twenty-Two
CAMILLO
Wakingup to Aleric like this was strange. My morning routine had always been private—the healthcare workers my parents hired to take care of me after the accident had been impersonal and under strict orders to keep everything under wraps. I forced myself to think of them like robots in order to cope with the fact that they had to touch me in the most intimate places and see me at my most vulnerable.
And while I eventually got used to it and learned to do almost everything on my own, it didn’t change the fact that I’d made a vow to myself. Even if I did fall in love with someone, I would never let them see me like that. We could be like the couples in medieval times where they kept separate bedrooms, met for sex, and then retired to their own spaces.
But now that I had Aleric in my arms first thing that morning, I realized I never wanted to wake up any other way.
The last six weeks had been hell—a self-imposed hell that I had no right to complain about, but that didn’t matter. Being away from him had threatened to ruin me. I knew I was taking a risk saying nothing, but I also knew him.
I knew he would set himself on fire if it meant burning down the people who tried to hurt me, and I wasn’t going to let him dothat. Whatever Christoph’s problem was, I was not going to let him ruin what Aleric had worked for.
He had clawed his way to the surface, bloodied knuckles and ragged nails, and I would spend the rest of my life making sure he never suffered again. So long as he let me. And now that I’d confessed and my isolation from him was over, I felt whole again.
Stretching my arms above my head, I groaned to test how much gunk had settled in my lungs overnight. I didn’t feel too bad, so I didn’t rush to move. Instead, I pushed fingers into Aleric’s messy hair and grinned when he murmured and nuzzled against me.
I’d expected him to be a cuddler, but I hadn’t expected to like it so damn much. I could see his legs wrapped around mine, and I carefully felt below us to make sure he wasn’t in danger of crushing my bag. One humiliation I didn’t need this early on in the relationship was leaking piss all over him.
It was half-full and needed a change, but it was one more thing that could wait.
“Mm why up?” he muttered.
I fought back a laugh. “I think it’s past eight.”
“Too early.”
I stroked my finger over his cheek until he opened his eyes. They were unfocused and blurry and so fucking beautiful. He blinked sleepily at me. “Hello.”
His mouth curved into a grin, and he turned his head to smudge something like a kiss over my ribs. It sent sparks up and down my spine. “How do princes spend their mornings? The show made it up.”
I snorted. I’d seen their version of it. A tie-wearing butler came in and lifted Aleric from the bed, wheeled him into the bathroom, and dressed him and brushed his teeth and hair. They conveniently left out all the toilet shit—literally—which Iwas fine with. I didn’t need the general public knowing I started my day with a good anal fingering.
“Bathroom to start. Usually I do coffee and then brush my teeth, but I think I’ll swap those two today.”
He frowned, looking adorably confused. “Why?”
“Because I want to kiss you, and my mouth tastes like a dead rat.”
“Mm, dead rat,” he said, then surged up to kiss me. I took it. I didn’t care how sour it was. It was indulgent and soft and perfect. Just like him.
“I do need a piss though.”
He groaned but rolled over toward the wall, which gave me space to sit up and grab my handle to scoot toward the edge of the bed. My feet were a little more swollen than usual, but I didn’t feel like anything was off. It was probably because he’d been lying on them all night.
“Need help?” he asked.
I shook my head. Maybe we could keep a few secrets for a little longer. “I’ll be about half an hour. Sleep more?”
“Mhm.” He rolled over without argument and closed his eyes again.
It allowed me a moment to indulge just looking at him, but eventually, I had to grab my chair and head for the bathroom. My routine took forever, but it allowed me to disconnect from my body and focus on Aleric and what came next.