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That stung. “Do I really seem that shallow?”
“I’ve never seen you in love, Cam. Not even puppy love. Sometimes things matter, even when we don’t want them to.”
“What people think of him doesn’t matter to me.” That was the most honest I’d been in a while. “The only thing I care about is not letting my being a prince hurt him worse than he’s already been hurt.”
Cillian leaned in and gave me a kiss on the forehead like I was five. I hated how much I loved it—how much comfort thatalways brought me. It was strange to think that this man who was literally paid to give his life for me also loved me enough to do it.
Would my father say the same? Would my brother?
He was asking me all of this now because he gave a shit. Not because he was stunned by the idea that some man might actually want me.
“How does it feel when you’re with him?”
I couldn’t help a laugh. “Reckless and amazing. But he’s afraid if he asks for too much, he’ll be abandoned, and I don’t know how to reassure him when I’m still too afraid to make this something real.”
Cillian’s face shone with empathy. “Then you need to decide before he’s in too deep.”
That was true. It was already too late for me, but if I knew this wasn’t going to work, there might still be time to save Aleric from the disaster dating someone like me could bring.
“…and it’s not necessary for you to come to set today.”
My ears were ringing a little. “I’m sorry. Why?”
“It looks like Otis pulled something in his back, and he won’t be filming for the next few weeks.”
“Who the fuck is Otis?” I demanded, my hand stalling its reach for the car door handle. The poor woman on the other line coughed a little at my tone. “I’m sorry. That was—” I was unused to apologizing to random people and I couldn’t find the right words. “Where is Aleric?”
“Oh. I wouldn’t know that, sir. I believe he’s probably on set.”
I hung up on her.
“Your Highness?”
I looked up at Cillian. “I was asked not to come to the set today.” Shit. Had Aleric asked for that? I hadn’t heard from him since our last text exchange before I went to bed. It was short, but it seemed normal.
Only…did I even know what normal was?
“What would you like to do?”
“Take me there. If this shitfaced director wants to heave me off the set, he’s doing it to my face.” This was my one opportunity to see Aleric as much as I wanted, and I wasn’t letting that man or his assistant take it from me without a fight.
It took me longer than usual to transfer into the car, and I let Cillian handle my chair because my legs were spasming so hard from the stress of it all that I was starting to sweat. My ears began ringing as I settled in the seat, and I felt a familiar wave of unwell.
Normally that came with a UTI, but everything seemed normal, so it was most definitely anxiety. I breathed through it, but I wasn’t feeling much better when we were waved onto the lot and I waited for Cillian to set my chair for me.
“You look pale, Your Highness.”
“I’m fine.”
“Cam.” His voice was no-nonsense.
“Really. I’m just feeling a little uncomfortable. Let me go talk to Aleric, and if I’m really not needed on set, we can go.”
“Home?”
“Basketball,” I told him, and he rolled his eyes.
“Cam,” he said so softly no one else around would hear, “you’re pale and shaking. You’re sweating. I’m concerned.”