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“I need to be in bed soon. Get comfortable under the water, and I’ll be there in a moment.”
“Can I help?” he asked.
I shook my head. “It takes me a minute, but I’ve got my routine down, and I prefer to shower without my catheter.”
He glanced down at my crotch, then nodded, kissed me once more, then left me to my duties.
It took me longer than usual. I couldn’t feel the pain where it was actually hurting, but my nerves were fired up, and as I took out the cath, I felt a familiar nausea hitting me. It took me a minute to breathe through it, but soon enough, I was naked and ready.
I let him hold the shower door as I shifted onto the bench, and then I slid to the center, where he was waiting for me, shampoo in hand. Neither one of us said a word. He asked with soft gestures and accepted my easy nods.
He scrubbed my scalp and then the rest of my body, washing away the scent of sickness and hospital. I stared down as he was careful with my cock and balls, his hand moving over my stomach where I couldn’t feel it at all, then up near my ribs, where the sensation threatened to overwhelm me.
“Camillo?”
“Mm.” I had my eyes closed now, basking in the way he was petting up and down the top of my spine.
“I don’t mean to alarm you, but you’re hard.”
I glanced down and saw my cock half-stiff. “It won’t last. It never does. I’ve tried drugs and everything, but?—”
“No, I—I wasn’t asking for me,” he said softly. He shuffled closer and laid his temple on my shoulder. “That’s…not something I prefer. Being a bottom.”
It didn’t take me long to realize why. “I understand.”
He shrugged. “I’ve worked on it in therapy a lot, and I’ve tried toys, but my therapist says that might be something I have to accept as part of who I am now. And I am sorry. I know there are ways you could top, and…and if you want to try someday, maybe?—”
“Aleric.”
He went instantly quiet.
“I like you as you are. I like what we’ve done so far. It’s felt…” I shuddered. “There are no words. You can ask me for whatever you want, and I’ll give it. And you can tell me what you will never want, and it won’t be on the table. Not ever.”
He swallowed so heavily I could hear it catch in his throat. “Can we talk about that later?”
“Yes.” Turning to face him, I took his chin again and kissed him. “Let’s rinse off. I don’t want to fall asleep here.”
He grinned and stole a last kiss before using the wand to rinse off all of our bubbles. When it was done, he didn’t ask to help me dry off, but he watched as I used the towel until I could comfortably sit in my chair. He didn’t hover when I put my next catheter in, but I knew he could see, and for the first time ever, I didn’t mind.
I didn’t feel strange.
He felt like he’d been part of my life this entire time.
And God help me, I wanted to keep that.
It was half an hour before we were actually in bed. I ordered a tray of dinner when Aleric confessed he hadn’t eaten, and he was enthralled by the fact that I could call the kitchen and have almost anything sent up.
He was an easy, sensible man though, so he went with a turkey sandwich and some fruit. I suspected that had something to do with his diet, but I didn’t bother calling him out on it. I just got comfortable while he arranged the tray, then stole a few pieces of fruit while he polished off his plate.
“So. This is your everyday routine, or…?”
I laughed. “No, my darling. It’s not. I cook and clean a little…”
“And do your dishes,” he said.
“Not a single soiled fork to be found,” I answered with a sniff.
He burst into giggles as he fell back against me, nestling close. “And you lay here and watch TV?”