Page 22 of Riding the Sugar High

“No. Not okay.” I lean forward to stare right into her eyes. “You cry, and he wins. You show you care, and he wins. If you let any emotions slip out, you’re the weak one. And if you’re weak, people know they can take advantage of you.”

She sniffles, slowly shaking her head. “Emotions are normal, Logan. If you don’t express them, they build up until your mind can’t take it anymore, and they explode.”

I hold her stare for a while, knowing she’s referring to the episode I had last night, and once I’m sure she’s done crying, I pick up my bowl and continue eating.

Emotions are normal, yeah. They’re also inconvenient, and whether she cries over this or not won’t change the fact that Derek is a piece of shit who lied to her and humiliated her. So, what’s crying good for?

Nothing.

Nobody deserves her tears.

* * *

“She set Derek’s trash on fire?” Simon asks before breathing in his open hands to warm up. The spring morning is alive with the chirping of birds, the rich aroma of fertile soil mingling with the sweet fragrance of blossoming flowers and the tang of manure from the barns. Though it’s cold right now, we’ll be drenched in sweat in a handful of hours.

“By accident.” I fill the trough with feed as the goats gather eagerly, their soft, warm bodies brushing against me.

“What was it? Compost? Paper?”

My eyes roll. “That’swhat you want to know?”

Kyle pops up next to me, piercing brown eyes as wide as the moon. “Wait, so she’s Sugar High?ThatSugar High?”

I can feel the excitement bursting out of him from his voice alone, which means that prefacing my story with “It’s not a big deal” and “No, really, it’s not a big deal at all” didn’t work as planned.

“How many Sugar Highs do you know?” I ask as the five goats approach, and after making sure Russ’s injured thigh looks good, I store the feed away and hop over the fence.

“Is she famous?” Simon asks Kyle as he runs his finger through his orange-blond hair. “Like properly famous?”

“She’s got two million followers on Instagram alone.” Kyle hesitates. “Though, lately, she’s been known as...”

“As apsycho,” I fill in, my lips twisting at the horrible word. Simon’s chin jerks back, and he straightens his shoulders. “She didn’t take the breakup with Derek the...conventional way.”

“Well, he obviously used her,” Kyle offers as he hops onto the fence and sits. “I mean, he had five hundred followers when he started dating her. And now? Forty thousand. And he wasflauntingthe relationship—it was transparently fake.” He keeps scrolling on his phone. “I wouldn’t have taken the breakup well either.”

When he notices both Simon and I staring at him questioningly, he brushes invisible dirt off his light blue jeans.

“What? It’s the latest Instagram drama.” He hops off the fence. “But, on a bitter-sweet note, we do kind of have a cheat sheet to her innermost fantasies. Which, if you’re not planning on using, I might?—”

“What does that mean?”

“Just that if you’re not into her, I’d like to?—”

Eye rolling, I raise a hand to stop him. “I know you’re a thirsty teenager in a man’s body, Kyle. What’s that cheat sheet business?”

“Oh.” He taps on his phone. “Well, last week, this list was leaked online. She confirmed it’s hers.”

I grasp the phone from his hands, my eyes widening as I read line after line.Act silly around me,Cuddle me,Introduce me to his family.

It’s her love bucket list.

And it’s been made public.

“Look at the last ones. Spicy stuff,” Kyle says with a suggestive tone, my eyes instantly piercing his face.

Though it takes every drop of self-control, I hand the phone back, my jaw ticking. “This is private shit, Kyle. What the fuck are you talking about—cheat sheet? You have no right to read any of that.”

“It’s online!” He turns to Simon, lips parted. “Explain it to him.”