Page 141 of Riding the Sugar High
Connor joins us, a glare directed at Logan, whose lips thin until they’re two straight lines. Turning away from him, he cups my shoulder. “Your life is too important, Barbie,” he says softly. He cups my cheek, sliding his hand under the hair framing my face. “You’ll do amazing things, and you need a clean slate for that.”
My future isn’t more important than his. It’s just not. And I was the one to set that fire, so I should pay the consequences for it.
Folding my hand over his, I stare deeply into his eyes. “So...do...you.”
“For Christ’s sake,” he explodes, throwing his head back on the pillow. “I can’t stand the thought of you in danger—do you get that?”
“Logan, youjusthad a panic attack. You can’t go to prison, you?—”
“I had a panic attack because I was terrified they’d come for you,” he says as he points at Josie and Connor. His eyes widen as if that’ll help convey the message more clearly. “Do you understand that the thought of it is worse than hurting myself?”
“Doyouunderstand that I loveyou?” I shout back, and just like that, we both fall silent.
I said I love him. Out loud.
I met him precisely two weeks ago, I’ll be gone from his life in four days, and I just shouted at him that I love him.
Through the obvious surprise on his face, he opens his mouth. “I lo?—”
“Don’t!” I squeal as I cover his mouth with my hand. My heart is beating hard and fast, the weight of my fears melting away now that he’salmostsaid it back.“Don’t you dare. Nothere.”
I stare at him and try to breathe in and out. Even though he only said half of it, now I know how he feels, and there’s no coming back from that.
Number twenty-nine. Love me.
“You almost said you love me while gaslighting me,” I say through a half-sob, half-chuckle.
Tipping his head toward Connor, he mumbles, “So did you.”
“You’restilldoing it.”
“So—”
“Okay, enough,” Connor bursts as he turns to Josie. “Did you put them up to this?”
“Me?” she asks, planting both hands on her hips. Her green eyes turn a shade colder as she meets her partner’s eyes. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You did—you told them both to confess.”
What is he talking about?
“Connor, quit it. I would never jeopardize my job. And look at them—they have no idea.”
Our befuddled expressions must convince him, because he darts away in a cloud of swear words. After a stiff nod, Josie follows him, leaving Logan and me alone.
Immediately, my body crashes against his.
He almost said he loves me.
“I’m sorry I went behind your back,” I whimper, my body shaking with a mix of adrenaline and pure terror. “I’m so—so...scared.”
“Barbie,” he says, pain bleeding from his words. “You’ve been really brave, you know?”
I look up at him, his thumb tracing my lips. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” he insists. “I might hate that you confessed—might think it’s the stupidest thing you could’ve ever done. But my god, Barbie, was it brave.”
See? I love him. I just do. He’s pissed off, I know he is. And yet he’s complimenting me—telling me I’m brave, which I’m definitely not. I want to be brave for him, though, and not only when it comes to the police. I want to be fearless when it comes to us. “This is yours,” I say as I slide my flamingo scrunchie off my wrist and fit it around his. “Never give it back, please.”
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