Page 127 of Riding the Sugar High

My chest heaves as I face him, arms folded like a shield. “Are you in love with her?”

He swallows, then opens his mouth without a sound.

Not a single word.

“God,” I whine as I turn around and zip my bag.

“I’m not in love with her,” he says, and it sounds as if he’s surprised himself.

Tears blur my vision as I struggle to make sense of the chaos raging inside me, the pain of his betrayal like a vice around my heart. “Really?” I ask, my voice quivering. “Then what was that full minute of hesitation?”

“I wasn’t hesitating.” He wipes his mouth with the palm of his hand, his back hunching as if pain is preventing him from standing straight. “Look, let’s sit down and talk about this. You have nowhere to go, and?—”

“I survived twenty-five years without your help,” I cut through. “I’ll be okay.”

Anger surges through me like a tidal wave, fueling my every step as I march toward the door, my mind made up. I can't stay here—not when everything I thought I knew about us has been ripped away from me in an instant.

He blocks my access to the door, holding his hands up. He’s as white as a sheet, and his panic attacks come back to me in a hazy blur. He looks even more desperate than he did then. Even more hopeless. “Just—wait, okay? I’ll explain everything, I promise.”

“What, Logan? You’ll explain I was your second choice? The one you had to settle for since Josie is taken?” I try to push him away, but he barely flinches. “Move.”

His head shakes, his eyes closing as if he’s fighting with his brain, trying to convince his mouth to let go of the words trapped in it.

“You finally found it, huh?”

My brows bend. “What?”

“The reason to believe I’m not into you. That I must have been lying all along.” My ears are ringing, the slash in my chest bleeding with each of his words. “It’s impossible to believe someone would be with you because they like you, right? Because they want you,” he blurts. “And now you’ve found my real motive.”

Unbelievable.Helies, but I’m the one at fault?

“Right.Ifucked up.” I hike my backpack higher up my shoulder. “You’re unbelievable. Get out of my way.”

“That’s not...Shit, that’s not what I’m saying, okay? I should have been honest. But I said we’d talk about it, and youknowthis has nothing to do with me being in love with her.”

“Then what is it about?”

“About me being a mess, Primrose!” He shouts. He pulls his hair at the roots, his shoulders rolling forward. “I’m broken. I can’t communicate, can’t express my feelings. I only have anger—just blinding, exhausting fury. And then you came along and made everything else turn silent.” He lowers his voice. “But I’m not your perfect guy with crayons and a white horse. I’m just some idiot who’s worth so little, my own brother and girlfriend left me behind.”

Bullshit. He could have been the perfect guy with crayons and a white horse. Hell, I didn’t even need him to be that, but he was. He’s gone through item after item on my list, and he made me believe it mattered. ThatImattered.

“I’m not doing this.” I sneak past him, and he moves out of the way before the door hits him on the ass.

“I know I should have told you already. I planned to, but if I did, we would have never...”

My eyes widen. “Never...Never slept together?”

“Yes,” he confirms, and when he notices my wide eyes and parted lips, he shakes his head. “No, I—shit, that’s not what I mean.”

With a groan, I walk away, down the steps and onto the gravel.

Logan is a good person—deep down, I know it. But right now, he feels a whole lot like Derek. Like he used me. Like I’m his second choice, and if he was supposed to settle for someone he didn’t love, he might as well go with the readily available girl. Delivered right to his front step.

“Primrose, stay. If you need space, I’ll go, okay? I’ll stay with Simon. But please?—”

“No, Logan. No.”

“Then let me drive you to a hotel. I’ll get you a room, and?—”