Page 96 of Ride Me Cowboy

Elsie stares at me.

“I like Cole.”

Her lips part. “You shouldn’t belikinganyone, much less sleeping with them. Christopherjustdied.”

“I know that.”

“You’re supposed to be home with us, mourning, working out how to get on with your life without him in it, not kicking up your heels with these…these…”

“Don’t,” I say, warningly. “However you feel about me, and my choices, leave them out of it.”

She is clearly surprised by that.

“Els, I love you. You were my friend before you became my sister, and I’d like us to still be friends. But this is my life, and you can’t come out here and tell me how to live it, okay?”

“Do you have any idea what this would do to Christopher?”

I flinch.

“Can you even imagine what he’d do, if the shoe were on the other foot?”

I shake my head. “I know how it must seem?—,”

“It seems like you’re a shallow bitch,” she hisses. “Was this about his money? Is that why you married him?”

I begin to tremble at the horrible accusation. “I didn’t evenknowyou guys had money until that night.”

“Yeah, the night you met him. He fell head over heels for you. We thought you did, too. But all I can think now is that you were just blinded by what he could buy for you, what he could give you.”

I shake my head quickly, unable to find the words to deny it.

“You always wear designer clothes, have the latest bags, shoes?—,”

“That’s how Christopher liked me to dress.”How he insisted I dress.

“I can’t believe I was so wrong about you.”

Tears sting my eyes. Maybe Cole’s right. Maybe I should tell her the truth about Christopher. But while the thought of having her think badly of me is something I can live with, I don’t think I want to be responsible for destroying her memories of her much-loved brother.

“Jesus, Beth. I’ll tell you what, forget I was here. Forget about me, altogether, forget my parents. Best thing you can do is lose our numbers—you want out of our family? You’ve got it.”

Elsie strides toward the stable doors, her long hair swishing against her back as she goes. She turns before she leaves, though, and shouts, “I will never, ever forgive you for this.” I stare at her, completely unable to formulate a sentence; not sure I know where I could even try to begin. I hate Christopher’s control over me, but at least this time, I know it’s motivated by my choice, too. My choice to protect Elsie and their parents. I’mnot protecting him anymore, nor am I keeping quiet out of self-preservation. This is an act of love—Elsie will never know that though.

Cole

Caleb’s eyes lock to mine when I stalk into the kitchen a little while later and grab a beer from the fridge. I hold it tight in my hand, staring out at the rose garden, my pulse ticking in a way I can feel, all through my body.

The silence is heavy in the air, even though he doesn’t say anything.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mutter, cracking the top off the drink then placing it down on the counter.

“Sure.” Caleb’s shrug is inauthentic. He takes the beer off the bench and has a swig.

I shoot him a scowl before retrieving another one. This time, I put it down harder, without opening it. “Fuck it.” I drop my head forward, trying to get the look of Beth out of my mind when she’d seen Elsie. Trying to get our fight—was it a fight?—out of my mind, too.

Tryingnotto think about her being talked into going back to Manhattan with her dead husband’s sister. Tryingnotto think about how stifling she must find that life, all the lying, the pretending, the trying to be someone she’s not.

Whereas out here, with us,with me, she’s…free. Free, wild, and wonderful.