Page 87 of Ride Me Cowboy

Then all we can do, baby, is take it by the reins,

Enjoy the ride, make the most, not fight it in vain.

Nothing lasts forever, we’re just not built that way,

But certain things happen just to make you say:

Now because of you, I know who I‘m meantta be,

Time’s not on our side, but I’ve known you baby,

And you’ve made me who I’m meant to become,

I’ll love you forever, I’ll love you then some.

She fades out on that last line, then sings it over and over, and I listen, in absolute awe of how someone so young can write such a beautifully moving song. Afterwards, she places her guitar down against a hay bale, then looks from me to Cassidy. Cassidy is staring at her with the same sense of wonderment I feel.

“Holy shit, Mack. When did you write that?”

She shrugs her slender shoulders. “Few weeks back.”

“How?” Cassidy stutters. “Why?”

Mack laughs, but it’s a little uneasy. “You don’t like it?”

Cassidy looks to me, her eyes appealing for help.

“We loved it,” I say, confident I can speak for both of us. “You are an actual genius.”

She rolls her eyes. “It’s just music.”

“No, it’s poetry,” I demur, kneeling at her feet and clasping her hands, staring into her eyes. I feel Cassidy’s gaze on my face, but can’t look away from Mack. “It’s beautiful and emotional and so…ethereal, when you sing it. Have you ever played any of this for Nash?”

Her cheeks flush and she quickly shakes her head.

“Why not?”

“I dunno,” she responds, but I can tell she’s lying. “I just wouldn’t want him to feel pressured, you know? It’s what he does for a job and these guys have all been real good to me, treating me like family an’ all, but I’ve gotta draw a line somewhere. I’m not gonna take advantage of him.”

Cassidy shakes her head. “That’s ridiculous. And we don’t treat you like family, youarefamily,” she says, putting an arm around Mackenzie’s shoulders and hugging her to her side.

There it is again. A twist of jealousy. But of Mack’s relationship with Cassidy, or the fact that I would love to be folded into this family, for real? I shift a little at the thought, aware that my heart is coming close to betraying me. This is temporary, and I’ve always known that.

“Now, I’ve got an idea,” Cassidy says, looking at me beseechingly again.Play along,her eyes say. “You should let Beth here put you up on that insta channel.”

I nod, just like I would have with or without Cassidy’s prompting. “You know I want to.”

“Yeah, we’ve talked about it,” Mackenzie says, cautiously.

“Let’s do it,” Cassidy claps her hand together, and before we can say anything, she’s like a cyclone in action, on her feet, moving things around, dragging hay bales so they’re lined up just to the side of the fire, looking for props. “Okay, let’s make a music video,” she grins, with a devilish grin.

“I don’t know, you guys,” Mackenzie says, clearly losing her confidence.

“Well, what if we film the song, and you can decide if you want to post it.”

It’s a pretty low risk way to go about it and she nods slowly. “Okay, if you promise I get the final say.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” I murmur, realizing hownottrue that is. In my marriage, there were many, many nights when I hoped I just wouldn’t wake up. I was so miserable, terrified, and had no way of escaping. But being out here, with the Donovan family and Mack, Caleb, slowly, everything’s shifted, so I find myself falling asleep dreaming of the next day, excited to wake up and do it all over again.