Page 40 of Ride Me Cowboy

I laugh despite the million and one feelings I’m trying to cajole into some kind of semblance of order. “Okay, sure,” I say. “Can I do anything to help?”

Behind me, Mackenzie is setting the table. She adds a place for me without complaint, so I gather our little talk earlier has set her mind at ease. For now, at least.

“Nah, why don’t you just sing for your supper?” Beau suggests.

“I’m a terrible singer.”

“Then talk.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Tell us a bit about yourself.”

Austin jumps in. “Or about New York.”

I take the lifeline he offers and see from the quirk of Beau’s lips that he’s intentionally trying to provoke me. To tease me. I just manage to fight the impulse to poke my tongue out at him.

“Well, it’s like a thousand cities inside a city. Every neighborhood has a different feel. I’ve lived there my whole life, but I still find myself turning a corner and ending up somewhere new and different. It’s not only that each neighborhood is different though, it’s that it’s a city in a constant state of flux, of reinvention. Businesses change hands, buildings are torn down, restaurants that used to betheplace to eat suddenly cease to exist, and there’s a laundromat there instead,” I say, with a shake of my head. “It’s fascinating and busy and?—,”

“And you love it,” Beau supplies.

I think about that. I used to love it. I probably will again. I can’t judge anything that I associate with Christopher clearly right now. He has smudged a grimy fingerprint over every aspect of my life.

“It’s an incredible place,” I finish again, as Austin pulls a bottle of red wine from a rack and reads the label.

“Austin’s into wine,” Beau explains with a shrug.

“Are you?” I finish my beer and move the bottle to the bin. Christopher was also into wine. He loved to show off his expensive collection.

Ausin nods. “Spent a summer in France straight out of school. Worked on a vineyard and learned a shit ton about it.”

I smile at the juxtaposition of the experience he’s describing and his way of expression.

“This here’s a Napa Valley Cab Sav. The perfect match with steak.”

“Yeah, you’re the fanciest SEAL around.”

That piques my interest. “You’re in the navy?”

Austin’s eyes flash to Beau’s and the air seems to thicken a little. “I’m on leave right now.”

“I didn’t know.”

Austin shrugs. “Why would you?”

I glance at Beau, wondering why he or Cole didn’t mention it. Then again, why would they have? Austin being military is just something they take for granted.

“How long are you off for?”

He hesitates for the briefest moment, then shrugs again. “Through the end of the year, or so.”

While he’s talking, Beau opens the oven and removes a huge tray of baked potatoes, already cut in half and dolloped with butter, they look fluffy, golden and absolutely delicious. My stomach grumbles and I clasp a hand over it.

Beau grins. “We’ll turn you into a country girl yet, just you wait and see.”

City Girl.Out of nowhere, I hear Cole’s voice, and my insides twist with warmth and…need.

Need every bit as strong as I felt a week ago, when he’d pulled me into his arms and kissed me senseless. The kind of need that makes my whole mind spin and twist. An ache I don’t know if I can keep fighting—that maybe I don’twantto keep fighting. Confusion scrapes through me. One minute I’m swearing off Cole, convinced we need to keep a lid on whatever this thing is between us, and the next, I’m ready to creep into his room and beg him to make love to me.