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"Come on!" he shouts. "Azin and Onar need us!"

I tug the cloak over my head and shuffle after him. What's his problem?

15

AIROS

The elemental's essence warms me like wine from the gods, and for the first time in days I feel truly rested. My muscles no longer ache, my mind is sharp as a blade's edge, and though my phoenix powers still remain frustratingly exhausted, my physical body thrums with renewed vitality. It's as though I've awakened from the best sleep of my life.

"Fuck me," Jackson breathes beside me, rolling his shoulders with obvious relief. "I feel like I could run a marathon."

"Then let's run," I say, and without waiting for his response, I break into a steady pace across the sand.

I keep slightly ahead of him, and the path back to Azin and Onar unfolds before me with crystal clarity. With a recovered and rested mind, deciphering the signs of the land and the sky comes as easily as reading a map. But it isn’t my confidence in navigating the way back that’s filling me with doubt and hesitation.

I don’t want to speak to him about my attempted kiss. I’d done it mindlessly, and it shouldn’t have meant anything. But I can feel myself wanting things I’ve sworn to never want, and the things I saw in the elemental’s vision have made me doubteverything.

I hear the words of the Gnosis priestess who took me in after finding me sleeping amongst the rubble of what had once been my village.

“You were spared for a reason,” she’d said. “Only you can answer how to serve those who perished here.”

I was a child, too afraid to tell her the truth of what had happened. I didn'twantto serve them. The anger and sorrow over what they'd done to me—and who knows how many other Phoenikos—burned inside of me for years until I found my answer: I would cut myself off from taking a mate. My abstinence would serve as part of my atonement for the lives I'd taken, and I would not condemn another phoenix child to live in this world.

I was certain that this commitment and my mission to find the Great Phoenix’s temple would be the way I would find peace with myself. My destiny lies in service to this belief. It’s what has always pushed me forward, and it’s what keeps me strong around Jackson.

What I saw in the mind of the elemental was a life with an omega. A mate, and a family. A happy existence in which all the burdens of my past don’t exist. What is unclear to me is the nature of this vision. Is it a glimpse of what could be? Oris it merely a shard of my mind reflected back at me by the elemental’s powerful and cryptic magic?

Both answers leave me thinking about Jackson. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself—everything that had been impossible, everything forbidden, is now suddenly less infallible than I had believed. Including how he feels about me.

I can’t stop thinking about the way my phoenix energy reacted when he’d taken off his clothes in front of me. Iknowthere’s only one reason how that could’ve happened. He’d enjoyed it as much as I had.

Gods.

I want him. I want to strip away every barrier he's built around himself, every stubborn protest, every fearful excuse. I want to show him what it means to be claimed by an alpha—to bemine. The urge to pin him against the nearest surface and make him understand exactly what his body is asking for burns through me like molten bronze.

My hands itch to map every scar on his soldier's body, to taste the salt of his skin and feel him surrender beneath my touch. I want to hear him gasp my name when I find the places that make him lose control, watch his walls crumble as he finally stops running from what we both know he needs. I want to teach him about all of the pleasures he’s been missing.

I’ve maintained my vow with unwavering commitment for over twenty years. Why now?

Because I’ve tasted what it feels like to be close to him. To beonewith him. This trial has done something to us. I have to focus. I can’t allow this fantasy to grow any further.

And so, I put distance between us as we run. I stay ahead of him and ignore the rhythm of his steps, purposely moving my feet in discord with his. When we face the Shimat, we'll need perfect synchronization. Until then, I can't afford to be in sync with anything else about him.

Jackson

Goddammit. Something is wrong, I can feel it, but I'm too damn chickenshit to say anything.

Airos is ten paces ahead of me and holding that distance, like he doesn't want me to get too close. And all I want is to know whether that moment—that almost kiss—actually happened, or if I'd just made it all up in my head along with everything else the elemental showed me.

Why is he acting like this?

More importantly, why do I care? I should be glad he's ignoring me. But I'm all screwed up. I have a head full of crazy thoughts and I don't know what to do with them.

"Airos!" I finally shout, but he doesn't slow down. "Dammit,stop!"

In a burst of frustration, I sprint forward and shove his shoulder with both hands. He stumbles, falls and rolls across the rocky ground. Shit. I didn't mean for that to happen.

"What are you doing?!" he exclaims.