Page 3

"Jackson. Jackson!"

"What?" I say, snapping to attention.

Rachyl, sitting beside me on the concrete step, scowls and rolls her eyes at me. "I knew you weren't watching."

She flips her favorite pair of retro headphones over her ears and turns back to whatever she's doing.

Wait. Rachyl, the quad at lunch, Lincoln High School...

Great, another dream. How many fucking years ago is this memory from?

I reach over and pull the headphones off her.

"Hey!"

"I am watching," I say apologetically, and lean over to look. "What's that?"

She has two lengths of paracord and is carefully winding them around each other, like a braid.

"It's called an eternal knot." Her voice has gone unusually soft; I almost can't hear her over the noise of everything else.

"Internal snot?" I ask, grinning.

"Eternalknot, dumbass!" she replies, and punches me hard on the shoulder.

"Ow, fuck."

"I went down a whole YouTube rabbit hole," she says as she works. "Ancient people used to believe these knots have power."

It's pretty incredible, the way she weaves the cords together. Mesmerizing, really. Out, around, make a loop, slide the end through, tighten it, repeat. She's obviously practiced this a lot. She's always been into arts and crafts.

"Damn, you're really good at that," I comment, pressing my face closer so I can see her process.

She smiles. "And some say that this knot would tie two people together for eternity. Best friends, or... or more."

I burst into a fit of laughter. "Rachyl, you are into some weird-ass shit. I coulddefinitelysee you starting an Etsy store, though."

She stops what she's doing and stares at me. Then, she slaps the knot into my lap, grabs her backpack and walks away.

"W-wha... Hey! The hell, man? Rachyl, where are you going?!"

Too late. Headphones are on and hoodie is up. I've been shut out.

The corded knot is unfinished. The end still hangs apart as two loose strands. I stuff the thing into my pocket and turn back to my lunch. Whatever. I'll see her after school.

Slowly, the world around me fades away, and the sounds of the past go soft and muddy.

It all vanishes.

Damn... What a dumbass I was. How did I not see what she was trying to say?

My eyes open again.

I'm awake. Actually awake.

I quickly shake off the haze of sleep to return to the noisy, dark, smelly brig of the flying ship I'm a captive in. My heart hammers against my ribcage. Memories swirl around my mind, and I fight to empty my thoughts of them. Now is not the time to get caught up thinking about McScott or Rachyl. It's not the time to be thinking about my failures as a man. I'm not going to get into another fight with myself, another shouting match inside my head to remind myself of what I'mnot.

I raise my right hand to press my palm over my pounding chest, and the weight of the wrist shackle and bump of the iron chain against my swollen belly rudely reinforce my current reality.