Page 90

I chuckle softly. “Yes, I’m just tired from exams.” I look at the TV screen, seeing my reflection in the black glass. My hair is a mess, I’m still wearing my pajamas, and I haven’t actually eaten yet today.

“Oh, don’t lie to me. I know you’ve been having a tough time since everything with Lena. What a sweet girl. I can’t believe it didn’t work out between you two,” she tells me, sadness in her voice. I’m not sure if she’s more upset that I’m hurting, or that Lena won’t be coming to meet her.

“Yeah, about that…” I mumble. My heart flutters nervously, my fingers twitching and my throat feeling dry. I want so badly to tell her, to tell someone other than Nathan about Dante.

“Don’t you feel too bad about that, Ethan, honey. I know you’ll meet another lovely girl soon enough.” She comforts me in her own way, though knowing what I know just makes me sigh.

“I won’t,” I insist.

“Sure, you will. Your father was just talking to me about a coworker of his who has a daughter about your age. You should meet her when you get down here.”

My face turns red and I put my free hand over it. “Mother, that…isn’t going to work.”

“Why not? You don’t know until you try. You’ve certainly never been the type to give up,” she reminds me, and I hear the determination in her loving but slightly smothering voice.

I groan and flop down on the couch, but keep the phone to my ear. “Mom, there’s something I need to tell you, but I’m scared.”

“Is Lena pregnant?” she asks.

I choke on my own spit. “What?! No!”

“Good. As much as I don’t regret having you, it’s not a good idea to have children until you’ve finished school.” She sighs in relief.

I rub my face. “Lena and I broke up because…I’m gay.” The words feel like fire in my mouth.

All I hear is silence on the other end for about thirty seconds, long enough to make my anxiety rise even higher.

“Mom? Mother?” I ask, my whole body freezing.

“Well. I guess now that I think about it, it certainly makes sense.” When she finally speaks, her voice is quiet and uncertain.

“It does?” I ask.

“We never had to worry about you being alone with girls in high school, and you were always so close with Nathan,” she murmurs.

I blush hotter. “Nathan has nothing to do with this,” I insist. “He’s not…we’re not?—”

“Alright, alright. So you’re gay. Goodness. Well, your father is going to be disappointed that he can’t set you and that girl up,” she tells me with a chuckle.

“You’re not angry?” I ask.

“Angry? No, of course not, sweetheart. I know when you were younger our family’s position on homosexuality was a bitconservative, but I would never be mad at you, Ethan,” she promises me.

“Really?” I ask, slowly sitting up and trying to calm my heart down.

“Really. Now, I can’t promise everyone in the family will accept you as easily, but you’re my son, and love is beautiful. Whoever you love, I just want you to be happy.”

Tears spring to my eyes and I swallow hard, trying to keep them from running down my face, but I fail almost immediately.

“Mom…” I choke out. I take another breath. “Do you think Dad will be upset?”

“Oh, no, not at all. Actually…we’ve been meaning to tell you, we added a third to our relationship a couple months ago,” she says slowly, but almost casually.

I blink, staring at the coffee table. “Um. You did?”

“Don’t tell your father I told you. He wanted to tell you together, but if knowing will help you feel less self-conscious, I want you to know.”

“I almost don’t want to know,” I mumble.