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“The fucking mafia? What? I mean, there are some rumors, but…damn, no wonder he was so intense with you and you’re so worked up,” he huffs out, staring at me.

“Right? It’s…wow, and I should be terrified and want nothing to do with Dante, but…I do,” I admit.

“You’re not scared?” he asks.

“I am, but more about him getting hurt, l-losing him…but I guess I already fucking did.” My breath catches in my throat and my eyes mist over. I clear my throat, trying to settle down.

“Okay, he’s in the mafia. You’re scared of him getting his ass killed. That doesn’t explain what happened today—why you’re a hot mess with your heart broken over him,” Nathan says.

I swallow hard. “I’m falling in love with him,” I blurt out.

“Uh. Wow. Ethan. Are you sure? This is happening real fast.” Nathan slowly puts another fry in his mouth. We look at each other via the streetlight a few feet away shining a faint glow through the car windows.

“I know, I know.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “But I can’t help it. I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet him.”

“Okay, so then what happened?” Nathan asks, tilting his head.

I look at him nervously. “His family will only take our relationship seriously if I pledge my loyalty to them and him via a blood ritual.”

Nathan drops the fry he’s about to put in his mouth. “Dude, what the fuck.”

“I know! I saw one, between Dante’s cousin and her fiancée. It was intense, but…Nathan, it also…made me feel things. Things I didn’t know I could feel.”

“What kind of things exactly? When did you see this?” he asks, his brow furrowing.

“A couple weeks ago. He took me to his house. I, uh…it felt exciting. Scary, but exciting,” I reply.

“Uhh. Damn. That seems to be your whole deal with him, scared but excited. Are you sure it’s not just your dick talking?” he asks slowly.

A few tears finally drip out of my eyes, and I wipe them away with the side of my hand. “No, I don’t think so. It’s about that, too, but he’s…God, Nathan, he’s so hot, and the things we’ve done…”

“Whathaveyou done?” he asks, suddenly looking more excited than worried.

I glare at him. “Oh, no, not telling you that.”

He sighs. “Fine. So you need to do the ritual, but you don’t want to? That’s the problem?”

“I think so. I feel like being his boyfriend should be enough,” I say. “Why should I have to do this ritual for our relationship to matter, for me to be a part of his world?”

Nathan eyes me. “I mean, it’s a freaky thing, but I guess…say, if Dante was Catholic, and you had to have a wedding in a Catholic church and do it all the traditional way of his family…would you do that?”

I blink and look out of the windshield. “I would…you know, I didn’t think of it that way.”

“Yeah, I mean, Catholics got some freaky shit going on too, you know. And there are people who think marriage isn’t needed at all, but they get married if it means a lot to their partner, ’cause it ain’t hurting anything.” He shrugs.

Something clicks into place in my head. “I guess it’s similar. It seems too dark to me, but not so silly when I think about it like a more well-known tradition.”

“Yeah, see? Not that I think you should do it,” he adds. “You should do whatever makes you happy. I want you to be safe, though.”

I nod slowly. The hole in my chest doesn’t feel as painful anymore.

“I need to think about it more. I’m not sure if Dante will even talk to me again.”

Nathan reaches over and touches my shoulder. “That guy is obsessed with you. Don’t worry about that.”

16

DANTE