Page 64
Story: Master of Pain
I pause, not turning around.
“Her name is—was—Caroline,” I say, a tightness in my chest.
It’s quiet, but his hand is still on my shoulder. I can’t even get the words “she’s dead” out of my mouth, even if that’s pretty fucking obvious.
“I gotta shower.” That’s all I say before I step forward, breaking free from his hold and disappearing into the bathroom.
I let the hot water and steam ease the tension out of my body for twenty minutes or so. By the time I step out, dry off, and pull on my boxers, I’m feeling pretty damn good knowing Ethan is still in my bedroom.
“So should we go for some coffee, breakfast maybe?” I suggest. “Before class.”
I look to the bed, but Ethan isn’t there.
For a split second panic flashes over me, until I see him standing by the window, dressed in his clothes from the night before and scrolling on his phone.
“Go out?” he asks as he looks over at me. His eyes fall down my body and back to my face. Warmth floods those pretty orbs before he walks over to me.
“Yeah. I mean, I know you’re notout, but I wanna take you for breakfast.”
Ethan smiles, but then his face falls and he chews at his lip. “Well, I don’t know if I’m ready for going out to a restaurant, but to the coffee shop, sure.”
“Got it.” I move to pull on the rest of my clothing—dark jeans, a button-up shirt, and my leather jacket.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be seen with you,” he explains, his brow knitting.
“I know,” I say. “You just don’t wanna be seen on a date with a guy right now.”
Ethan sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed. “I’m not ready. I’m still processing it in my own head. I can’t handle taking on other people and their opinions right now.”
I laugh as I’m buttoning my shirt, and then step over to place a hand on his neck. “Ethan. I said, I know. It’s fine.”
“Really, you’re not bothered by it?” he asks, looking up at me like a nervous little puppy.
I shrug. “Sure, I want people to know you’re mine, but if you aren’t ready, that’s okay.”
He’s suspiciously quiet, so I narrow my eyes at him. “What?”
“Am I yours?” he asks. “You haven’t asked me, and I haven’t asked you. There have been no official terms or agreement.”
I blink at him. “Terms and agreement? What, do you want me to draw up a contract?” I snort.
Ethan’s face turns red and he looks away from me. “I’m serious.”
I sit down to put my socks on, then scoot closer to him. “Okay, Serious. What do you need me to do?”
“Well, I asked Lena to be my girlfriend,” he explains. “But that was after a couple dates. We haven’t been on a single date.”
“No, we haven’t. Mind you, there hasn’t been much time for that, with all the car bombs, blood rituals, fucking, an’ all that,” I remind him. “Plus, you aren’t ready to be seen with me yet.”
He groans and puts his face in his hands. “I know, I know.”
“You’re not mine then, is what you’re saying?” I ask, my voice low, a tightness in my throat and chest.
He swallows and shakes his head. “No, I…yes. I don’t know. I’m notnotyours, but…none of this is how I always planned for things to be. You meet someone, you chat, you go on dates, you become official, you get engaged, you get married, you have babies,” he rambles.
“You forgot, you meet awoman,” I remind him. “All that shit is stuff you thought when you thought you were straight.Maybe how you do things isn’t the same as you thought you were supposed to.”
Ethan takes a breath. “You’re right.”
“Her name is—was—Caroline,” I say, a tightness in my chest.
It’s quiet, but his hand is still on my shoulder. I can’t even get the words “she’s dead” out of my mouth, even if that’s pretty fucking obvious.
“I gotta shower.” That’s all I say before I step forward, breaking free from his hold and disappearing into the bathroom.
I let the hot water and steam ease the tension out of my body for twenty minutes or so. By the time I step out, dry off, and pull on my boxers, I’m feeling pretty damn good knowing Ethan is still in my bedroom.
“So should we go for some coffee, breakfast maybe?” I suggest. “Before class.”
I look to the bed, but Ethan isn’t there.
For a split second panic flashes over me, until I see him standing by the window, dressed in his clothes from the night before and scrolling on his phone.
“Go out?” he asks as he looks over at me. His eyes fall down my body and back to my face. Warmth floods those pretty orbs before he walks over to me.
“Yeah. I mean, I know you’re notout, but I wanna take you for breakfast.”
Ethan smiles, but then his face falls and he chews at his lip. “Well, I don’t know if I’m ready for going out to a restaurant, but to the coffee shop, sure.”
“Got it.” I move to pull on the rest of my clothing—dark jeans, a button-up shirt, and my leather jacket.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be seen with you,” he explains, his brow knitting.
“I know,” I say. “You just don’t wanna be seen on a date with a guy right now.”
Ethan sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed. “I’m not ready. I’m still processing it in my own head. I can’t handle taking on other people and their opinions right now.”
I laugh as I’m buttoning my shirt, and then step over to place a hand on his neck. “Ethan. I said, I know. It’s fine.”
“Really, you’re not bothered by it?” he asks, looking up at me like a nervous little puppy.
I shrug. “Sure, I want people to know you’re mine, but if you aren’t ready, that’s okay.”
He’s suspiciously quiet, so I narrow my eyes at him. “What?”
“Am I yours?” he asks. “You haven’t asked me, and I haven’t asked you. There have been no official terms or agreement.”
I blink at him. “Terms and agreement? What, do you want me to draw up a contract?” I snort.
Ethan’s face turns red and he looks away from me. “I’m serious.”
I sit down to put my socks on, then scoot closer to him. “Okay, Serious. What do you need me to do?”
“Well, I asked Lena to be my girlfriend,” he explains. “But that was after a couple dates. We haven’t been on a single date.”
“No, we haven’t. Mind you, there hasn’t been much time for that, with all the car bombs, blood rituals, fucking, an’ all that,” I remind him. “Plus, you aren’t ready to be seen with me yet.”
He groans and puts his face in his hands. “I know, I know.”
“You’re not mine then, is what you’re saying?” I ask, my voice low, a tightness in my throat and chest.
He swallows and shakes his head. “No, I…yes. I don’t know. I’m notnotyours, but…none of this is how I always planned for things to be. You meet someone, you chat, you go on dates, you become official, you get engaged, you get married, you have babies,” he rambles.
“You forgot, you meet awoman,” I remind him. “All that shit is stuff you thought when you thought you were straight.Maybe how you do things isn’t the same as you thought you were supposed to.”
Ethan takes a breath. “You’re right.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105