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“You’re not supposed to be anything,” he objects. “So what if you’re into dudes? At least you figured it out now, and not after marrying Lena or something.”

I groan again and tilt my head back down. “I broke her heart.”

“Lots of guys have broken her heart,” he tells me.

“That doesn’t help,” I hiss at him. “I was supposed to be the one who didn’t. I wanted to be good for her, not another fuck-up.”

“Man, that’s a lot of pressure,” Nathan mumbles. “You don’t have to be perfect at everything. You know that, right?”

I swallow around the tightness in my throat again. “We could have been something real.”

“Sure, but it’s okay that it didn’t work out,” Nathan insists.

“What do you know? All you care about is sex,” I snap at him, my head feeling like it’s full of cotton and my eyes like they’re buzzing from how tired I am.

Nathan scoffs. “Fuck you,” he snaps back at me. “I can fuck and still care and know relationships are hard.”

I’m quiet, my face burning.

“I’m just having fun. And it sure doesn’t look like you are, so don’t pull that shit with me.”

“Yeah,” I mumble. “I’m sorry. I’m just exhausted, and I care about Lena.”

“Whatever. I know you do. She’ll be fine. One thing you said you liked about her was that she didn’t need you,” he reminds me.

I roll my eyes. “I said that she stands all on her own. She’s independent,” I clarify.

“Same thing, but sure. She stands on her own. She’ll keep doin’ that. Did she cut off the idea of the two of you being friends?”

I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so. She just needs some time apart.”

“This is less about Lena and more about Dante, isn’t it?” Nathan asks.

My stomach tightens. I grab the energy drink and finally crack it open, taking a long drink as an excuse to delay my answer.

“Well, it’s notnotabout him,” I finally admit.

Nathan exhales and shakes his head. “That’s a bad fucking idea, man,” he tells me. “At least…it could be.”

“I know he’s trouble. Believe me, I know.” I take another drink.

He eyes me for a second. “If you really wanted to just fuck around for a bit with him and have some fun, I wouldn’t blame you,” he says. “Just don’t let yourself get caught up with his bullshit.”

I nearly choke on my drink. “I’m not going to ‘fuck around’ with him. I…I don’t even know what any of this really means.”

Nathan rolls his eyes at me. “Yeah, you do. You’re just scared. The only time you don’t know something is when you’re afraid to admit it or afraid to ask for help. You’re literally the most know-it-all smartass I know.”

I glare at him. “Okay, then you tell me what I want.”

“I think you’re horny over Dante and you realized you’re gay, but the whole small-town-raised perfect golden boy thing has gotten to your head. Believe me, it gets to me sometimes, too, but not nearly as much as you being an only child and all that.” He points at me. “Hell, if I didn’t have three siblings I’d probably be spending all my time studying, panicking about my every move, and getting absolutely no pussy, too.”

“Oh, fuck you.” I grab a nearby pillow and toss it at his face.

He laughs right as it hits him. “You know it’s true.”

I can’t help but chuckle, even though his words are swirling around my head.

Am I truly interested in Dante?