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I let out a sigh. “I’m going to miss this.”
“What, moonlight walks along the beach with me?” he teases.
“Yes, among other things.” The stupid wine is making me loose-lipped.
Felix stops and stands in front of me, the wind whips around us. “I don’t want this to stop,” he confesses. I go to open my mouth, but he places his finger against my lips. “I’ve had a lot of beers tonight, but I think it’s going to be the only time I have the courage to say what I need to say.”
“Felix.”
“No, Harper. I’m going to say what I need to say. It must be said,” he demands.No, it doesn’t, please. I can’t hear this, notnow.“This last couple of months together have been some of my happiest. It’s the first time in my life I’m dreading going to training camp because that means you and I are over, and I don’t want us to be.” His thumb slides across my cheek. “I’m not ready to let you go, not sure if I ever want to let you go.” Thud. Thud. Thud goes my heart. “This is not where I saw myself when I left LA, but I feel like it is exactly where I should have always been. I’m in love with you, Harper. I don’t want what we have to be over, I want to keep dating you until …” he lets out a heavy sigh, “until one day I put a ring on your finger.” My eyes pop open wide at that declaration. No. No. No. I take a step back out of his embrace and I watch his face fall. “Don’t say it, please, don’t say it,” he says, looking defeated. “You don’t feel the same way I do, do you?” My heart is screamingyes,tell him you feel the same way, but my mind is screaming he’s too young, he can do better than you, and it’s a little fuzzy thanks to the wines. “It’s okay,” he says. “Come on, let’s get you back to the party. They are probably wondering where we are.” He starts to walk off back to the house, and I follow in silence behind him.
When we get back to the group, Felix wishes everyone goodnight, saying he’s going to bed, he’s had one too many beers, and he needs to sleep it off. The boys give him a hard time, but he walks out, and I’m left there standing in the dark watching the man that my heart knows I’ve fallen for, but my head just won’t let me think it.
“Are you okay?” Meadow asks, noticing me in the darkness. A single tear falls down my cheek.
“I don’t think I am. I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life.”
“Oh, babe,” she says, hugging me. “What happened?”
“He told me he loves me, but I couldn’t say it back.” More tears roll down my cheeks.
Meadow brushes them away. “That’s okay. The fact that you are having this reaction means you have feelings for him. You’re just not there.”
“He can’t love me, he’s too young.”
Meadow rolls her eyes. “It’s not like it’s twenty years. He’s not a boy.”
“You call him the kid,” I snap back.
“Because I like teasing you. But, Harper, I see the way that man looks at you, he is head over heels in love with you. He walks you to work every day and picks you up every evening. Since he’s been doing that, you’ve been working less, you’re happier than you have ever been. You are taking time out for yourself more.”
“Was I that much of a raging bitch before?” I ask her.
She bursts out laughing. “No, but you were stressed like we all are, but you have the added pressure of it being your business. Felix helped you delegate better and ease off on the micromanaging.”
“I sound like a horrible boss.” I pout.
“You’re brilliant, but I’m only saying that because I’m drunk,” Meadow teases. “He’s a good guy, nothing like the others you’ve dated. Could you imagine any of your exes going along with dating you to protect you from another ex?” Meadow explains.
“No.”
“Exactly. Look, your dating past hasn’t been the greatest, I get it. But don’t let all those assholes win by you closing yourself off from a brilliant guy.”
“I don’t look desperate dating him?” I ask her.
“He’s hot. If you aren’t going to date him, there are millions of women in the city who will,” Meadow warns me. My face scrunches up at the thought of that. “Your face says it all. Thethought of him dating anyone else has you looking like you want to murder those women.”
“I do.”
“Then go upstairs to that man and tell him that you’re interested in giving this a shot. You don’t have to declare you’re in love with him, but give that poor guy a chance,” Meadow tells me.
She’s right.
I leave her and make my way up to my bedroom, my heart thumping in my chest. When I open the door to my bedroom, I can see Felix is fast asleep, and my stomach sinks. I get ready for bed and jump in beside him.
“I’ve fallen for you, too, please be patient,” I whisper into his ear as I kiss him goodnight.
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