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Slowly I walk over to the bed, and the rage melts away. Instead I’m overcome with so much grief, my heart can’t handle the weight of it all. I can’t think about undercover foster sisters or dads right now. I just need to make sure he’s still breathing.
Carefully, I crawl into the bed beside Cole.
“I’m here,” I whisper, as I curl up beside him, wrapping one arm around his waist. Resting my head on his chest, I close my eyes, and I fall asleep to the sounds of his heart beating.
Chapter forty
Riot
“Riot, just give him time,” her fingertips slide down the sleeve of my shirt, but I jerk away from her grasp. He’s angry and he has every right to be. I knew she was down there, and I may have done what I needed to do in order to save Zeke and Cole, but I listened to all of these assholes and left her behind. He’s never going to forgive me, and I can’t even begin coping with that realization. The thought alone is too painful to bear.
I’ve always been afraid of losing him. He’s always had one foot out the door, and when he finally decided he was all in, I betrayed him in the worst way possible. It doesn’t matter if I did it to save him. He’ll never see it that way.
Yanking the door open, I leave the room and walk across the hall. I drop my hand to the handle of Cole’s room, but I just hover there, afraid to go inside. Cole’s not even conscious and Zeke is full of untamed fury; I feel as though my presence would only make things worse.
Sliding my hand from the knob, I turn around, pressing my back to the wall beside the door, and I slump to the floor. Hunching over my knees, I fold my arms and curl up inside of myself as the tears begin to fall.
“Hey,” Travis’ voice tugs at my attention and I swipe my eyes against my sleeves before looking up at him.
He drops down to the floor beside me, leaning his back against the wall and stretching his legs out in front of him.
“The doctor was looking for Hannah earlier and couldn’t find her, so he gave me the rundown on Cole. I thought you’d want to know.”
“Is he going to be ok?” my eyes look straight ahead, focusing on the white chair rail molding that spans the length of the hallway.
I can feel Travis’ eyes burning into the side of my face when he starts up. “He will. The doctor finished debridement of the wounds, so he’s clean and in the clear as far as that goes. He um, he found something else though. He didn’t want to mention it earlier. Honestly, I think he was terrified Zeke was going to murder him if he brought it up.”
“What do you mean?” I snap my head to the side, finally meeting Travis’ gaze.
“Cole was… well the doctor believes he was assaulted based on his findings.”
“Yeah, I mean clearly he was, he didn’t do all that shit to himself.”
“No,” Travis’ eyes darken. “Not like that Riot. Shit I don’t know how to say this.”
“Say it.”
Somewhere deep inside of myself, I know what he’s going to say. From the way that Zeke has been behaving, I know what happened in that cell, but I need to hear the words out loud, because I can’t bring myself to believe them without them being spoken into existence.
“The doctor said he was sodomized with a foreign object…”
As soon as the words hit my ears, I’m leaping to my feet with my fists clenched at my sides, pacing the floor in front of Travis. Given the number of bodies the five of us dropped, the men that did it are likely dead, but it doesn’t do a damn thing to quell the rage that simmers below the surface.
“Beyond that, he won’t know anything unless Cole or Zeke talk about it. I’m…”
Turning on my heel I walk away, leaving Travis talking to himself. His voice carries behind me down the hallway, but I just keep walking.
“I’m sorry, Riot.”
Recalling the way my body lightened when I fought Arsenal the other night, I immediately make my way down the steps to the first floor. Opening and closing one door at a time, I keep going until I find the basement.
Jogging down the steps, I flick the switch on the wall, illuminating the dark space, and I walk over to the boxing equipment. Except, I don’t bother fumbling with the wraps. I don’t bother covering my hands with gloves.
Something inside of me snaps and I haul my fist back, heaving it forward into the punching bag with all of my might. Then I do it again.
And again.
And again.