Page 52 of If It's You

Christian looked like he might try to retaliate, but instead, he gave her a dazzling smile.

Maizie felt her own smile waver. This wasn’t how their relationship worked. He didn’t just stop the game to smile at her.

She turned back to the movie, and thankfully Christian did the same. He didn’t ask any more questions, and Maizie enjoyed the movie she hadn’t watched in so long. When was the last time she’d seen it? It had to be a few years at least.

Why had she avoided it for so long?

Then Skinny stole the car, and she remembered.

Her breathing grew shallow and the room closed in on her. She didn’t remember when she’d pulled the pillow onto her lap, but now she squeezed the life out of it. She needed to get out of here, but she couldn’t move.

She watched in horror as Skinny hopped out of the car.He’s going to die. He’s going to die. Just like Mack died on me.Suddenly, the realization was enough to move her. She bolted from the room and didn’t stop.

* * *

Christian jumpedwhen Maizie ran from the room.

“Uh oh,” Lindsay said.

“What?” Jayce asked.

The gunshot brought Christian’s attention back to the screen. His breath all but disappeared when he saw the innocent death on the screen. It hadn’t been Skinny’s fault. Christian wanted to yell at the TV over and over again until it changed the dynamic in this twisted world where heartless people took the lives of good people. His own heart thudded in his chest as he watched Skinny die in his brother’s arms. The image blurred as tears filled Christian’s eyes.

“Shoot. Why did we pick this movie?” Jayce asked, shooting Christian a wary glance.

Lindsay said something but Christian could no longer hear anything but his pounding heart.

He watched the single mother on the screen, grieving the loss of a child. That broken expression and hollow eyes of the mother were too familiar. Too painful and true.

He couldn’t watch this movie anymore. “I’ve got to go to the bathroom,” he lied, walking out of the family room, and straight out of the house.

Christian didn’t realize where he was going until he got there. The old barn. He reached for the door but stopped when he noticed Maizie’s truck around the back. He should go, let her have her space, but he took a few steps closer instead, until the sound of crying drowned out the crickets’ chirping.

His heart slammed to a halt, sickened by the memory of his mother crying like this. He had always been there to comfort his mother. Maybe he could do the same for Maizie. Grief wasn’t something you fought about.

He opened the door and slid through. It was still dusk outside, but inside Maizie was only a shadow. He let his eyes adjust before he walked to the hay bales where Maizie sat, her knees up to her chest and her face buried in them. His foot brushed some hay on the floor and Maizie’s head shot up.

“What are you doing here?”

He ignored her question, unwilling to explain what had brought him here. “Are you okay?” He took a seat on the bale, far enough away to give her the space she needed.

Maizie buried her face in her knees again. “Yep.”

She was lying. He could hear the tremor in her voice, but he let her be. He leaned back against the hay and closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet peace of the barn. When he was in here, he understood why he had come to the farm. He’d come for this feeling. He had wanted to stay home with his mom for the summer, to help work and care for her and Emi. But his mom had practically packed his bag for him.

“You only get to be a kid for so long. I want you to enjoy it.” Of course, she also wanted him to work hard and learn life lessons, but that was the excuse she always came back to.

At the time, he’d thought she was just trying to get rid of him. But she’d done him a favor. Living in the city where he’d lost his dad, where every turn was a reminder of something that once was his, was debilitating. He’d been drowning in his grief until he washed up on the shore of the farm. And for the first time in almost two years, he felt like he could breathe again.

“You can go if you want,” Maizie spoke up.

“I don’t think you should be alone.” Christian stared through the holes in the ceiling.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” There was a familiar air of annoyance lacing her words.

“I know the movie upset you.”

He could feel her iciness from here.