Page 133 of If It's You

“No.” Her mom said. “I think it’s time. In fact, why don’t we spend today making all of Mack’s favorite foods.”

Maizie scrunched her nose. “We don’t have to make hot dog quesadillas, do we?”

“Ew. No. No one should ever make those.” Her mom said with a laugh. It was good to laugh about this. Even though Mack had been gone for three years, there were things lots of them still avoided doing or talking about.

“Are you ever scared mom?” Maizie asked.

Her mom turned from the cupboard that she pulled ingredients from. “Of what?”

Maizie played with the edge of her braid. “Of losing more people.”

“Oh honey,” her mom shut the cupboard and came over to her. “All the time. Sometimes so much so that I forget to enjoy the moments I do have with the ones I love.”

Tears gathered in Maizie’s eyes, and she sniffed to clear her throat.

“You want to talk about last night?” Her mom asked gently.

She wanted to say no, but she was tired of putting on a one-woman crusade against herself.

“It was great. But then he kissed me.”

“Is he a bad kisser? He doesn’t look like he’d be.”

“Mom!” Maizie jerked her head up and fought a smile.

Her mom held her hands up. “Just saying. So what’s wrong?”

Maizie shook her head, her sadness returning.

“I fell in love with him.”

Her mom eyed her, her worry lines ever-present. “And that’s a bad thing?”

The first tear spilled over, followed by the second, and third.

“I don’t want to fall in love with someone I could lose.” Maizie cried. Mack’s face flashed through her mind. Over time, the memories of him had dimmed, but one image would forever be burned in her brain. The lifeless Mack, who looked nothing like Mack at all, lying in a coffin, forever out of reach.

“Oh, Maiz,” her mom said, pulling her into a hug.

“I can’t lose anyone else.”

“The worst part of life is not being able to control who comes and who goes,” her mom said.

Wasn’t that the truth? If she could keep everyone at a distance forever, she’d never get hurt. But she’d done that to Christian, and her heart was still breaking. Lindsay was right. She had never let herself get emotionally invested in a relationship that was bound to end.

“But if you never take that risk, you’re missing out on something much more wonderful,” her mom said, stroking her hair. “Knowing all the pain I’ve experienced, I would still go back and do it all again, because love is the sweetest gift in the world.”

Maizie’s heart beat out of control as if to prove to her what her mother said was the truth. In every relationship, she’d chosen to end it before it could hurt her. She’d always stayed on the safe path. And then Christian had shown up and given her a reason to risk it all.

Maybe love was the only way to heal what she’d lost.

Thirty-Three

Christian wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He looked over at Jayce who was doing the same, but Eric was still going strong on the cement. The last two days had been long. He’d worried about Maizie every moment but it still hadn’t made her appear. She was reportedly learning to cook, but he couldn’t help feeling like she was running away from him. Again.

He knew he needed to give her time like Grandma had said, but what if he lost her? He didn’t know how he would survive that pain.

He picked up his shovel and got back to work shoveling cement into what would be an extension to the holding corral. Since Maizie hadn’t been around to flirt with or fight with, he’d been more focused on the work. Nothing on the farm was easy, but that just made every job more rewarding.