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Saff went quiet for a few moments. “You know everything now.”
Maddie pursed her lips, head lowering as they sat there, exchanging silent words that neither of them were willing to say aloud.
Finally, Maddie released the breath she’d been holding. A breath that she might’ve been holding since the moment Saff had walked out the front door.
“Do you remember when we crossed the river?” she asked quietly.
Saff didn’t say anything, but Maddie continued anyway.
“When you slipped—when you—went under the water..” She shook her head, remembering the feeling of the icy water clinging to her bones. “I was so scared. I was terrified you wouldn’t come back up.”
Saff shifted slightly beside her, their knees grazing against each other.
“Even then, I wasn’t scared of losing the person that was helping me. I was just—“ She swallowed, biting her lip. “I was scared of losingyou.”
She blinked away the wetness that had formed in her eyes. “And the night the raiders came,” she paused, shaking her head. “God, I was so mad at you. I hated you that night.” She wiped a stray tear that fell down her cheek. “But there was nothing—no one—that could’ve stopped me from trying to get to you.”
Saff exhaled beside her. “I don’t—“
“No,” Maddie cut her off, shaking her head. “I’m not stupid. I know it was dangerous and maybe I shouldn’t have done it, but..” She trailed off, leaning her head back as she let out a dry laugh. “I’ll tell you right now. I would do it again without a second thought.” She took a deep breath, her head dropping back down as she muttered, “What you told me doesn’t change that.”
Maddie’s hand drifted to Saff’s thigh, and a moment later, she felt Saff’s fingers cover her hand, curling over it protectively.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that,” Saff whispered.
Maddie turned to her. “Why?”
Saff released a breath that sounded like pure frustration. “Because I don’t ever want you to do something like that again. Not for anyone, but especially not for me.”
Saff pushed herself up from the couch, but Maddie held onto her hand, standing with her, holding her there.
“Why?” she pressed again, her own frustration surfacing. “Why is that such a bad thing?”
“Because,” Saff gritted, another frustrated puff of air coming out with the word before she paused, taking Maddie’s other hand in her own. “When I realized that you..” Saff paused again, and Maddie could barely focus on the words, distracted by the feel of her hands. “When I saw you in there.. And then when we finally got out and I knew you were going to be okay..”
Saff went quiet, and Maddie rubbed her thumb along her knuckles.
“It took everything in me to not get my rifle and hunt every one of them down.”
A shiver snaked down Maddie’s spine.
“Whatever you felt that night,” Saff continued, barely above a whisper, “I promise, it didn’t even come close to what I felt when I saw you in that house.”
The corner of Maddie’s mouth tilted upward. “Then I think, for the first time, you’re underestimating me,” she murmured.
Saff chuckled softly in front of her, and Maddie shifted closer to her, letting her hand slip forward until it rested on her hip. It was a sound she could listen to forever.
“I’m sorry you felt that way,” Maddie whispered, her head lowering.
Then it was Saff who moved forward, dropping her other hand before snaking it around Maddie’s back, pulling her just a fraction closer.
Maddie relished the contact, gently running both her hands up Saff’s sides. She felt her body shiver as they ran over her ribs, and it sent a warmth into her core.
She leaned forward, only stopping when she felt Saff’s muscled shoulder beneath her chin. Then she closed her eyes, breathing her in.
“If you want to leave, then I won’t try to stop you,” Maddie whispered. “But I don’t want you to go.”
Saff released a breath, but her arms tightened around her. Then Maddie felt her head slowly turn, and warm lips kissed her cheek.